deathpixie: (vegemite toast)
Acting on a hunch, I started taking my B12 supplements again, even though I'm not vegetarian any more. Imagine my surprise when I realised today that I'm not dead tired, starving despite eating and not in as crappy a mood as I've been in. In fact, I was quite hyper and cheerful earlier, something I remember from the first time I went on the supplement.

So, despite the fact I am eating meat again and it's been a good six years (possibly more) since I stopped with the vegetarianism, my body still has issues with B12, especially during stress.

Stupid body. But at least it helps with the depression and I don't need to change my meds again. That would have sucked. I'll have to try and squeeze more Vegemite into my daily diet again as well as the supplement (I have plenty, care of my darling daddy, but I need to make toast more regularly to put it on!).
deathpixie: (grumpy)
Some days I get so fed up with demands - other people's, my own, whatever - that all I want to do is run off for a month or so and just disappear on some island somewhere.

Then I remind myself that I couldn't handle my own company that long and go crazy with loneliness.


I am okay, really. Just tired and, despite reassurances from the doctor that increasing my medication would take care of it, in the middle of the usual epic PMS mood swings. So, it's time to take my own advice and go get some Evening Primrose Oil to see if I can't operate like a normal human being instead of tipping between gloomy and depressed and cranky and psychotic for three days a month. At least I finally remembered to ask the doctor about potential interactions with the anti-depressants last time I saw her.

It's so frustrating, being such a hostage to your hormones. I mean, I can handle the cramps and the backache and the ick, but I hate feeling like a total crazy person with no ability to react rationally. No wonder men think women are emotional and high-strung - we bloody fulfill the stereotype once a month, even when we don't want to.

Bah. Again.
deathpixie: (defying gravity)
So we're into the second week of April and spring is playing peek-a-boo with us in a big day. Some days have been lovely - sunny, warm (for values of 'warm' - I'm at the point where I consider 10-12 C 'warm'), and that particular earthy smell that tells you spring is coming. Then we get pouring rain, single-digit temperatures and everything goes into hiding again. Best of all, we still have one more winter storm to go - tomorrow's forecast is for freezing rain and ice pellets and a top of zero Celsius. My evening class teacher is considering cancelling tomorrow night for safe travelling's sake.

School is going well. I don't have the exact marks for my first module (Legal Computer Applications - basically Word and Powerpoint), but I'm fairly sure it's close to 100%. The only thing that might have knocked me back was going over my alloted time for my talk (by about double - curse you, Australia, for being full of things that are trying to kill us!), but I did show off appropriate Powerpoint skills, so, fingers crossed. The next module is "Introduction to Legal Studies", which is a look at what law is and how we got it. Fairly basic stuff, with a quiz, an assignment and an exam, whee! The work's pretty easy so far, although I'm noticing the hours this week - partly due to the fact that I'm still sick with the thing I caught before Easter. Hopefully I can shake it off soon so I can get some energy back!

Work is mostly okay, apart from a lovely bit of news yesterday. Because the government is cutting back public service workers (the OPESU) to the tune of 900-odd in Ontario, the various ministries are currently "surplussing" people. Which means you get told your job no longer exists and you have a couple of weeks to work out what you want to do before the official lay-off notice comes. We're losing J., the executive assistant to our director - the whole thing came totally out of the blue. And because her position is now 'surplus' to the Ministry, her work will be redistributed - technically to the director's other assistant in his other Ministry (he wears two hats), but considering a lot of it is specfic to what we do (various reports and such), I have a feeling it will end up bouncing back on us despite assurances.

This whole surplussing thing is discomforting. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm safe - I've been there for almost 7 years now, I'm fairly indispensible, my lawyers would cause a riot if I was let go and we've already established my 'back-up' can't do the job when I'm on vacation, let alone take it over full-time. But it's just nerve-wracking any way. And this isn't the only round of lay-offs, either - it's just the first blood-letting.


Any way, things are generally okay. Just having a long, tired day so I'm a tad meh. But I really am enjoying school, so much. It's great to be learning again, and I'm already chummy with my desk mate, a woman around the same age who currently works as a probation officer.
deathpixie: (concrete sky)
Yep, survived the death cold from hell. Seriously, it was a nasty one. I still have a cough and a runny nose, but I'm not longer as deathly as I was.

Of course, I wound up having to reschedule a couple of my interviews for the paralegal course - fate likes to kick me in the face like that. Decide to be proactive, have something happen that makes it impossible to follow-through straight away. *rolls eyes* Any way, one is rescheduled for this Saturday, I have one on the 20th and one on the 26th and one more to reschedule.

Amazingly, work did not explode while I was gone. There was a bunch of emails to go through and my filing is in serious backlog mode, but otherwise, things are pretty stable. Hooray. And my croaked, 'sounds like hell' voicemail obviously worked, since I had no messages to respond to. ;)

Any way, yep, I'm back in the land of the living and trying to get stuff done. This is good, since I've spent a week pretty much inactive. Who'd have thought lying on the couch watching TV would get boring? ;)

Some days.

Apr. 5th, 2012 07:43 pm
deathpixie: (drama llama alert)
I know I haven't been posting much lately and I will be updating with the Life of Jo soon, but for now, you get a tale of woe and weirdness.

It has, my friends, been a Day.

Things started this morning, with an email from one of my lawyers who was en route to Ottawa for court at 1:30. Turns out that he is actually in hospital in Cobourg, having become unwell on the way, and they're keeping him in for tests. Cue frantic scramble to inform defence counsel and arrange for someone local to speak to things and adjourn them, as well as making sure the lawyer is okay and that my manager and _his_ manager know what's up.

Second was a last minute adjournment motion for Lawyer A. Not really unusual, since he has a habit of leaving things until last minute, but this one wasn't actually his fault - defence counsel got double-booked for a trial next week. Still, mostly a scramble for an hour and then shooing A. out the door and anticipating lunch.

This is where things get woeful. And weird.

I have a problem with drinking sufficient water during the day and as a result, my lips are often cracked and/or peeling. Being me, I have a tendency to remove that dead skin by picking at it. Normally, this is a rather gross, but harmless habit. Except for today, when my peeling opened up a crack in my bottom lip that proceeded to gush blood. For half an hour.

It was a bit like the nosebleeds I used to get as a kid. Blood steadily flowing, refusing to actually clot, despite the ice and pressure I applied. I had blood down the front of my shirt, where the paper towel failed, and a pile of bloody napkins, tissues and paper towels amassing on my desk at a scary rate. And still with the bleeding.

I wound up being taken down to the nearest walk-in medical clinic. Of course, by the time I actually saw a doctor, the bleeding had stopped by and large (it started briefly again when I stood up to go into the doctor's office), but still we went with blood tests at the pathology lab upstairs. I sent Sonia back to the office at that point, since I'm a wuss with blood tests, and she bought me a bottle of juice to counter the general wooziness I was getting from lack of lunch (hard to eat with a paper towel pressed to your face) and the fact I'd swallowed way too much blood (again, shades of childhood, ew).

The juice proved to be a bad idea, as I managed to open the crack again on the edge of the bottle and spent most of the time while they were taking blood out of my arm with a chunk of gauze pressed to my mouth. Fortunately, it stopped quicker than before and I took advantage of the taxi chit Sonia gave me to get home, since there was no way I was going to use the subway on my own. I have to go back next week for the test results, whee.

Silver lining, at least - I got home in time for the middle of the Jays' first game of the year on the radio. Of course, they're still playing (15 innings of extra innings due to a 4-4 tie). I'm kind of miffed I didn't get to join the roomie and the pretty girl down at the Waterfront, tho'. Would've been nice.

She lives!

Oct. 17th, 2011 01:25 pm
deathpixie: (so very tired)
Hmm, apparently I've used this subject header often enough it appears in the auto-fill. I must be dead a lot.

Any way! I've lived through the Evil Flu of Flu-y Hell and I'm back at work for the first time in a week and a half. There is, naturally, a metric tonne of work to do, which I've triaged and am now gradually working my way through. I've also caught up on various things logging-wise, since I really have been falling down on the job.

Voice is still scratchy, cough is still cough-y and I have my faithful box of aloe vera tissues accompanying me where-ever I go. But I'm out of bed, so that's an improvement, yes?

Now to post a log I had promised for yesterday. Oops.
deathpixie: (life is pain)
After three days of ow, I bought some Tiger Blam last night and applied liberally to my neck. It worked well enough that the muscles relaxed enough to unpinch the nerve - I felt it pop last night - and while it's still sore, I can actually turn my head again. Huzzah!

I've got to say, constant pain is really tiring. And a pain in the butt. Apologies for whining - we worked out at therapy I get extra needy when I'm sick or in pain, for various reasons.
deathpixie: (Emily)
So, I went to the doctor yesterday after two days off work feeling like crud. Turns out my old friend Mr. Bronchitis has come to play, bringing along his friend Mr. Sinus Infection. Thank you, Other Lawyer Whose Name Begins With A That Isn't Alvin, for gifting me once again with your germs, since you were the one who gave me bronchitis last time. :P

My reward is a ten day course of antibiotics (the ones that make my mouth taste like metallic butt) and the rest of the week off work, since I can't concentrate worth anything and need about eighteen hours of sleep a day. At least I have a note now, so I can wave it at my manager and go neener neener when I get back in.

I'd be happier if my eyes and cheekbones didn't ache like a crazy aching thing and I wasn't pausing to cough every five minutes, but hey, at least I get a break. One I'm useless to do anything more with than watch lots of Buffy (you might be able to tell from my speech patterns) and sleep, but hey, a break's a break, right?
deathpixie: (the road goes ever on)
Day 15 – Your dreams

My dreams are always very vivid, surround-sound and full experience. I also have a tendency to 'jump' characters within the dream, experiencing it from many perspectives. That's always been the case, for as long as I can remember.

I didn't use to have nightmares often, but I do admit that since the break up, they come more often. Dreams of helplessness, usually, where I'm in a situation where I can't escape or I have to do something terrible to survive, or I have to try and stop something and I can't. I often dream about zombies, too, although those aren't always nightmares: they're more action-adventure, with a lot of pro-active zombie bashing. ;)

and the rest )

In other news, one of my lawyers has Epstein-Barr, which is also known as mono or glandular fever, as well as a liver infection and she'll be off work for six weeks. Given how infectious it can be and the fact I handle all of her files and documents, I think a trip to the doctor would not go astray, especially considering this fatigue and body ache I've had for months now. After all, better to be safe than sorry.
deathpixie: (storms ahead)
Day 14 – What you wore today

Grey, white and black checked men's cotton sleep pants and a t-shirt. Since I was off work sick today with this bloody sinus pain again.

and the rest )
deathpixie: (climbing)
So, I haven't been using this LJ much lately beyond small updates and memes, so here's one of those "what I've been up to" posts that reassure my parents I'm alive and well. ;) *waves to Mum and Dad*

1) Work: has been busy. Lots of trial prep (since we've had a lot of trials), lots of filing, lots of document preparation and, with the end of financial year, lots of expenses. I was here until 8 p.m. (I started at 9:30 a.m.) last night processing Alvin's expenses. Yes, yet again, he stitched me up and had almost a years' worth to go through. And now he's on vacation for a week, so I get to clean things up ready for filing when he gets back. I am already sick of spreadsheets and I still have Jane's on Thursday. *wry*

In the good news side, my merit backpay should come through this Thursday. I'm not sure how much it is, but it ought to at least cover my Canadian credit card, which is a nice little bonus. I also subitted my taxes on Sunday, and according to the initial calculations, I'm looking at about $600. Again, earmarked for my credit card (the Aussie one this time) but still a good windfall. I'm also the go-to girl for pretty much everything, so hey, yay for not being expendable? My performance appraisal is coming up in a week or so, and I'm anticipating it should go well. Well, apart from the fact I'm back on the absentee program due to sinus-related headaches caused by the wacky winter weather.

2) Social stuff: I've been quite busy with that, too. Open house at the roomie's parents' in Hamilton weekend before last, book launch for my friend Jill a couple of Wednesdays ago, Hamlet marathon in Hamilton last Sunday. There's also Drunkard's Christmas, otherwise known as St. Patrick's Day coming up this Thursday, and I've taken the Friday off since there's no way I'd be functional and also, apparently, I should be taking more time off than I do, according to Sonia.

3) Health. The meds have settled down and the side effects are back to manageable, which is good since I've been sleeping ten hours a night lately and it's still not enough. Therapy continues apace, and while I get frustrated at myself - I hate being like this and I hate what the depression does to me and my relationships - I'm making progress, slowly. We've started using drawing as a way to express things, which is useful despite the fact I'm limited to stick figures. I've also been converted to flu shots - I got mine this year and I've actually avoided most of the lurghi that's plagued my co-workers, apart from a bout of bronchitis at the start of winter. And the sinuses. No infections, just pressure - I can predict snow from the way my head tightens up, whee.

4) Weather. Has been weird and wacky the past two weeks. Sleet, rain, sun (it's lovely and sunny today, although still cold), snow then thaw... it's all very hard to keep up with. Yay for rubber boots, since they've coped with everything thrown at them so far and for the first winter ever, I haven't had cold or wet feet.

That's pretty much it for me. How are you guys going?
deathpixie: (concrete sky)
I'm tired of riding the Captain Paranoia Crazy Rollercoaster. Back with me to the doctor next week, to see about my meds. After nearly two years, it's entirely possible I've developed a tolerance for them and they're not working as well any more; my behaviour over the past couple of months should be a big indicator of that.
deathpixie: (meh)
Somehow, despite the fact I haven't really been near people much over the past few days and my flu shot, I've managed to catch something. Itchy throat, slight fever, general malaise. So, it looks like my two days off work are going to be spent killing this thing, since I really have to be at work on Wednesday due to various urgent things that cropped up on Christmas Eve.

Bah, humbug, I say.
deathpixie: (the road goes ever on)
In point form, since I'll be inevitably interrupted and lose my train of thought.

1) Halloween was awesome. We went to a party on Saturday night in costume (I was Steve Irwin, complete with a stuffed crocodile) and had a lot of fun. John was playing and there were wings. Yay Wingporium! Sunday was our 'drive in at home' day, where we watched the original Dracula with Bela Legosi and then Bram Stoker's Dracula with the surround sound, and ate drive in food like hot dogs and popcorn and nachos, and then went down to 17 Steps to meet up with the roomie's dad and step-mum.

2) On Sunday we got our first snow. It wasn't much more than a few flakes coming down for a minute or two and they soon melted away, but it was snow! Accordingly, the weather has gotten a lot colder in a hurry.

3) Work has been busy. You might have seen my rant the other day about the high density filing, a project I wasn't even supposed to be in charge of, but now I am due to co-worker incompetence. *sigh* There's that, plus the news yesterday that one of my lawyers, A., is very ill at the moment, so I'm trying to make arrangements to cover his cases for the near future and deal with the investigators who have started flailing around like Chicken Little. *wry*

4) Back to therapy last night. I seem to have gotten out of practice, although I've been incorporating a lot of the lessons learned over the past year so the absence wasn't actually too bad.

5) Also back to writing. I'm using the [Bad username or site: @] to catch up on 52 Pick Up. By the end of November I'll have 41 of the 52 stories I'm aiming at, so it's a very good way of making up lost time! Last night's effort was rather fun, written largely on my iPhone on the Notes function. Not as difficult as I thought it might be, except capitalising after quotations.

6) Not so much back to swimming. Over the past few months I've had the flu, bronchitis, the flu again and then a sinus infection. It's kept me out of the pool, since swimming with a stuffed up head is not a smart move. I'm aiming at this weekend, or if that fails, next Monday. I've been having sinus issues again and feeling like crap, so hopefully I don't have another infection. :P

7) The cats continue to be equal parts crazy and cute. Spike is huge - he's putting on his winter weight. They both sleep on my bed and keep my feet warm. Neither is particularly fond of my crocodile/alligator.

8) Christmas! My plans are fairly basic at the moment. Christmas Eve party at Sandy's, Christmas morning recovering and perhaps going to see a movie or something, then Boxing Day at the roomie's parents' open house. We're having the Toronto Christmas Do about a week before, since there's a lot of travelling happening.

Gift ideas for me, if you're wondering: gift vouchers for clothes and shoes; my Amazon wishlist; my other Amazon wishlist (with extras); LJ icon space and paid time; completion of Wiki page updates.

She lives!

Oct. 13th, 2010 12:25 pm
deathpixie: (gap in the clouds)
I know I haven't been around a lot lately. Most of that's been due to feeling totally and utterly crap. My bout of bronchitis last month was followed up a scarce week later by a headcold, courtesy of one of the assistants here, which hung around for ages and eventually turned into a sinus infection. So for the past three weeks, I've been exhausted, stuffy in the head, nose running like a tap and covered in coldsores. It doesn't make for a very happy Rossi.

However, yesterday I finally got myself to the doctor and started on a course of antibiotics and a nasal spray for the nose. Miracle of miracles, after coming home functionally dead, I slept for a very long time, had a bunch of really weird dreams and then slowly climbed back into consciousness. But once I'd had a shower, I could think. I could breathe! Walking from the subway station to work, I actually had energy! My sinuses weren't being drilled by small, evil gnomes intent on making my head explode from the eyeballs up!

After three weeks of zombie-dom, you can appreciate the simple joy of not having a head stuffed with blargh.

So, today is catch-up day. I haven't had the brain for anything more complicated than Zoo World on Facebook, so I have a bunch of emails to reply to and some reading to catch up on (well, done that, I read fast!) as well as some work stuff to double-check for zombie-induced mistakes. But I finally feel like I can manage that. :)

Yay antibiotics! They may make my mouth taste like metallic arse, but they work!
deathpixie: (meep)
Dear New Lawyer,

I appreciate that you had a lot of work to do, but was it really necessary to come into work with bronchitis and cough all over the place? I'm your assistant, but my duties don't include soaking up your bugs. :P

No love for now,

deathpixie: (yeah right)
I have no idea what it was in my diet yesterday that's decided to rebel, but I currently have guerilla warfare going on in my stomach atm. Whee, nausea.
deathpixie: (frustrated)
Wow. So that's what one of the roomie's mega heartburn attacks feels like. Massive chest pain, all the way around to my back, two doses of Zantac (the maximum allowed), Tums and two glasses of milk, plus some time whimpering on the couch. I had to get up and take another dose of Zantac sometime last night as well, since it decided to come back. I'm still a bit owie this morning, but I've taken more Tums and I'll have something nice and plain for breakfast - bagel and cream cheese ought to soak up some of the excess.

Yeah, definitely going dry for a bit and cutting back on the Coke. Because there's no way in hell I'm giving up occasional sushi, which was lunch yesterday. :P
deathpixie: (grease in the wheels of justice)
Or at least, it makes you free from snot, apparently - I came in today after two days off with the flu, and while I've been working my arse off all day, to the point I've only just logged into LJ in the last half hour, I do actually feel less be-lurghied than I did this morning. Who'da thunk it?

French homework that I missed has been obtained and I've caught up on most of my stuff - just need to do Alvin's filing, but since he's in his office, I'll leave that until the morning. My meeting with Sonia has been postponed until tomorrow afternoon - whee. We get to talk about my sick days again, although hey, the last two times have been due to flu, not anything else, so it's a bit unfair in my opinion. I mean, I made Jacob sick by turning up on Monday so maybe I should have stayed away instead and avoided that and making myself worse? Except I knew I had the meeting coming up and didn't want to add to the sick days. Ah well. We'll sort it out.

Icky cack

Nov. 30th, 2009 02:18 pm
deathpixie: (WTF?)
The downside of medications working really well on me is that the side effects usually do too. The antibiotic comes with a "may produce a metallic taste in your mouth" issue. Metallic taste my butt. I feel like I've been *CENSOREDCENSOREDCENSORED* a robot. The best part is actually being woken in the middle of the night by this absolutely gross taste in my mouth.


One upside to it - it means I'm keeping my fluid intake pretty high in order to wash the taste out.

February 2016

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