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deathpixie) wrote2001-04-07 02:17 pm
deathpixie) wrote2001-04-07 02:17 pm
Saturdays...
... are some of my favourtie days. :) I got to sleep in, got a cup of tea brought to me in bed, had a leisurely brekkie with BRM and Kate (she seems to be the current 'friend' *grins* Damn, why can't he go out with people I can hate?) and then caught up on stuff like laundry and vaccuming and bed making. Working full-time again has made me realise how much I enjoy having time off. :) Even did the respsonsible thing and calcualted who owes what on the phone bill, after a bit of tweaking.
It's been a busy few days, as you can tell from the fact I haven't updated since Thrusday morning. Dinner went off well with my folks, although I got a bit drunk with the wine they'd brought. (Sorry, Mel, for being off my face when you rang!). Last night was a quiet one for me - I had intended on catching up with email and my journal and stuff, but made the mistake of trying to edit the half of "Meeting Yourself IN The Closet" I hadn't done yet before posting. Three hours and 150 pages later I was done; the entire document is now over 300 pages. But it's shaping up to some kind of conclusion - the writing's improved too. I've been sticking my editing oar into this RR a bit, probably annoying the hell out of people, but with these big 'epics' it's sorta neccessary. Especially with the number of new residents involved. And everyone has their own personal favourite plot points to push - precisely why I took myself out, in a way, to avoid becoming The Keeper too much again - so you have to keep on top of things or it just degenerates. I'm thinking we should wrap up soon, or it'll collapse under its own weight.
Sorta dissatisfied today - stuff's bothering me, but not in a coherent enough way for me to verbalise it. Sometimes I think I expect too much of people, especially the fanfic community, because I'm always vaguely disappointed when they show they're human. Not that I'm Ms Perfect. I can be incredibly smug, and I preach too much, and I have a shocking temper when I let it out and I'm a coward about confrontation. So I can't really talk, I suppose.
Mick called last night, and we confirmed Monday lunchtime. I suppose that's the other dissatisfaction; he's far more interested in me than I am in him, and I don't want to be accused of leading the poor bugger on when all I wanted really was a bit of fun. One of the hazards of picking up older men, I suppose; they actually want committment, even when you don't. Gah.
The other thing is pretending to my folks that everything's fine between BRM and I. Mum was talking about babies and the future again, and I felt so dishonest, sitting there nodding away. I was pretty evasive, really - it could be her way of sounding out what the situation actually is. They must have noticed the separate room thing by now - you can tell BRM's not sharing mine, 'cause it's neat and his isn't. I think that I should tell them after DexCon, if they haven't already worked it out by then. The whole "drifting apart" reason, which is essentially true.
Feh. I hate being dishonest. But it's as much for their good as mine. I have no idea how Mum will react, and she's the one I'm worried about at the moment.
It's been a busy few days, as you can tell from the fact I haven't updated since Thrusday morning. Dinner went off well with my folks, although I got a bit drunk with the wine they'd brought. (Sorry, Mel, for being off my face when you rang!). Last night was a quiet one for me - I had intended on catching up with email and my journal and stuff, but made the mistake of trying to edit the half of "Meeting Yourself IN The Closet" I hadn't done yet before posting. Three hours and 150 pages later I was done; the entire document is now over 300 pages. But it's shaping up to some kind of conclusion - the writing's improved too. I've been sticking my editing oar into this RR a bit, probably annoying the hell out of people, but with these big 'epics' it's sorta neccessary. Especially with the number of new residents involved. And everyone has their own personal favourite plot points to push - precisely why I took myself out, in a way, to avoid becoming The Keeper too much again - so you have to keep on top of things or it just degenerates. I'm thinking we should wrap up soon, or it'll collapse under its own weight.
Sorta dissatisfied today - stuff's bothering me, but not in a coherent enough way for me to verbalise it. Sometimes I think I expect too much of people, especially the fanfic community, because I'm always vaguely disappointed when they show they're human. Not that I'm Ms Perfect. I can be incredibly smug, and I preach too much, and I have a shocking temper when I let it out and I'm a coward about confrontation. So I can't really talk, I suppose.
Mick called last night, and we confirmed Monday lunchtime. I suppose that's the other dissatisfaction; he's far more interested in me than I am in him, and I don't want to be accused of leading the poor bugger on when all I wanted really was a bit of fun. One of the hazards of picking up older men, I suppose; they actually want committment, even when you don't. Gah.
The other thing is pretending to my folks that everything's fine between BRM and I. Mum was talking about babies and the future again, and I felt so dishonest, sitting there nodding away. I was pretty evasive, really - it could be her way of sounding out what the situation actually is. They must have noticed the separate room thing by now - you can tell BRM's not sharing mine, 'cause it's neat and his isn't. I think that I should tell them after DexCon, if they haven't already worked it out by then. The whole "drifting apart" reason, which is essentially true.
Feh. I hate being dishonest. But it's as much for their good as mine. I have no idea how Mum will react, and she's the one I'm worried about at the moment.