Half-Day goofing off...
There, got the dishes from last night and this morning done, and a batch of banana bread in the bread maker - now I can sit and play with my livejournal as much as I like with a clear conscience. *omits to mention the hour or so spent previously emailing and board-surfing* ;)
That bread maker is one of the best Christmas presents Mum and Dad ever gave me. It gives me a way of using up overripe bananas (very overripe bananas today, ick!) and makes damn good bread.Next time BRM takes the car down to the fruit and veg wholesale-type place, he can grab one of those big bags of bread mix - making it beats trying to find a decent bakery. We're such bread snobs now; we got spoiled by the Victoria Markets and all that lovely produce. Still, since we're not spending money on meat, I think we can afford stuff like nice bread and cheese and sun-dried tomatoes... oh god I sound like a yuppie... help meeee...
*ahem*
Today's my las half-day for four weeks, and tomorrow's my last Friday off, until Pete comes back, any way. Darn, this part-time thing is addictive; pity they don't actually pay me the full-time rate, I could really get to like this otherwise. ;) Actually, there's the possiblity of going full-time, if Paula gets the job at the Family Court she interviewed for yesterday (the reason why I had to stay late). If she goes down to Melbourne, I'll get her position (same VPS level, but full time) and we'd probably get a trainee for the part-time, since I was a fluke. Of course, if I work full time, that's less writing time, darnit. *shrugs* We'll see how it pans out.
Additional good news on the work front - Kay Auty has been approved as regional magistrate for the next two years. We couldn't have asked for better - she's fast and efficient and very pleasant to work with, and she's keen to see the female clerks especially using their talents. Looks like I'll be getting extra prodding to do that course. ;) But if I'd had my pick of magistrates to work with full-time, she'd have been up the top of the list. Makes the whole prospect of Mr Gurvich less daunting - hey, if she starts in the next few weeks, we might not have him at all! YAY!
I stopped by Mum and Dad's on the way home from work to give Dad my "Internet for Dummies" book (yes, I own one, you can stop laughing now *grrs*) and that letter for David. Mum was off golfing, of course, and Dad was doing housework. *giggles* All of Mum's friends think he's wonderful, because he does all of the cleaning while Mum does the cooking. Things seem to be better for them - Mum's had some nasty politics with the golf club, but she's coping pretty well. Dad says that three months ago she would have been in the psych. ward over any sort of extra stress - it looks like her shrink is doing some good, even though she's got the whole Stocial thing going. *looks innocent as everyone points the finger* What? Me? Be stoical adn not talk about my problems even when they're driving me nuts? Couldn't be. ;)
Still, talking to Dad has made me more determined to not let them know about me and BRM just yet. They will probably figure it out eventually - the separate rooms thing is hard to miss ;P - but hopefully we'll have a few months to settle in and for BRM to set up his support network before they find out he's gone and dumped their daughter. ;) And if they see we're not making a big production out of it, adn are quite happy with the housemate arrangement, then maybe it won't be so bad.
Things are a lot better than they were. I had another bout of the sads last weekend, when the whole "big empty bed" thing hit me. After sharing a bed for so long, it's really strange to know he's in the house, but not with me. And winter is going to be hard - no nice warm person to snuggle up to. :( But the more I keep in mind that we are housemates, not a couple, the more I seem to be able to accept it. Like training myself to stop calling him 'sweetie': I'm down to one slip every couple of days. *wry grin* But it's hard to break a habit of ten years; not that BRM likes being called a habit. One of his main gripes was that we'd fallen into a rut, a habit of being together. So every time I do something out of habit, I get the lecture on what's wrong with the world today - people being too afraid to think outside their routines. He's right, in a way, but does he have to be so damn superior about it?
That's the other thing that's improved. He's stopped correcting and criticising me. Which makes me angry, because it feels like he respects me more now as a 'friend' than he did as a 'girlfriend/whatever'. But we've already gone through that, the last time he told me something I said was stupid; I finally lost my temper completely at him, and told him exactly how those kinds of remarks over the years made me feel. It was kind of liberating, not feeling I had to shield him from my temper. I always used to put up with it before, because I didn't want to fight with him; now I don't care so much, because he's not everything to me any more. Damn, this is hard to explain - there are some things you say to friends that you wouldn't say to lovers, and vice versa. And now the roles have changed, we're communicating a lot better than we used to - we're being more honest, and I'm not afraid of sticking up for myself. His illness had a lot to do with that, too; I didn't want to be responsible for making him worse. But now the drugs are working and he's feeling more in control and happy with his life, I don't have that responsibility. Again, very liberating.
Now I just have to remember how to be single... It's been a while. ;)
That bread maker is one of the best Christmas presents Mum and Dad ever gave me. It gives me a way of using up overripe bananas (very overripe bananas today, ick!) and makes damn good bread.Next time BRM takes the car down to the fruit and veg wholesale-type place, he can grab one of those big bags of bread mix - making it beats trying to find a decent bakery. We're such bread snobs now; we got spoiled by the Victoria Markets and all that lovely produce. Still, since we're not spending money on meat, I think we can afford stuff like nice bread and cheese and sun-dried tomatoes... oh god I sound like a yuppie... help meeee...
*ahem*
Today's my las half-day for four weeks, and tomorrow's my last Friday off, until Pete comes back, any way. Darn, this part-time thing is addictive; pity they don't actually pay me the full-time rate, I could really get to like this otherwise. ;) Actually, there's the possiblity of going full-time, if Paula gets the job at the Family Court she interviewed for yesterday (the reason why I had to stay late). If she goes down to Melbourne, I'll get her position (same VPS level, but full time) and we'd probably get a trainee for the part-time, since I was a fluke. Of course, if I work full time, that's less writing time, darnit. *shrugs* We'll see how it pans out.
Additional good news on the work front - Kay Auty has been approved as regional magistrate for the next two years. We couldn't have asked for better - she's fast and efficient and very pleasant to work with, and she's keen to see the female clerks especially using their talents. Looks like I'll be getting extra prodding to do that course. ;) But if I'd had my pick of magistrates to work with full-time, she'd have been up the top of the list. Makes the whole prospect of Mr Gurvich less daunting - hey, if she starts in the next few weeks, we might not have him at all! YAY!
I stopped by Mum and Dad's on the way home from work to give Dad my "Internet for Dummies" book (yes, I own one, you can stop laughing now *grrs*) and that letter for David. Mum was off golfing, of course, and Dad was doing housework. *giggles* All of Mum's friends think he's wonderful, because he does all of the cleaning while Mum does the cooking. Things seem to be better for them - Mum's had some nasty politics with the golf club, but she's coping pretty well. Dad says that three months ago she would have been in the psych. ward over any sort of extra stress - it looks like her shrink is doing some good, even though she's got the whole Stocial thing going. *looks innocent as everyone points the finger* What? Me? Be stoical adn not talk about my problems even when they're driving me nuts? Couldn't be. ;)
Still, talking to Dad has made me more determined to not let them know about me and BRM just yet. They will probably figure it out eventually - the separate rooms thing is hard to miss ;P - but hopefully we'll have a few months to settle in and for BRM to set up his support network before they find out he's gone and dumped their daughter. ;) And if they see we're not making a big production out of it, adn are quite happy with the housemate arrangement, then maybe it won't be so bad.
Things are a lot better than they were. I had another bout of the sads last weekend, when the whole "big empty bed" thing hit me. After sharing a bed for so long, it's really strange to know he's in the house, but not with me. And winter is going to be hard - no nice warm person to snuggle up to. :( But the more I keep in mind that we are housemates, not a couple, the more I seem to be able to accept it. Like training myself to stop calling him 'sweetie': I'm down to one slip every couple of days. *wry grin* But it's hard to break a habit of ten years; not that BRM likes being called a habit. One of his main gripes was that we'd fallen into a rut, a habit of being together. So every time I do something out of habit, I get the lecture on what's wrong with the world today - people being too afraid to think outside their routines. He's right, in a way, but does he have to be so damn superior about it?
That's the other thing that's improved. He's stopped correcting and criticising me. Which makes me angry, because it feels like he respects me more now as a 'friend' than he did as a 'girlfriend/whatever'. But we've already gone through that, the last time he told me something I said was stupid; I finally lost my temper completely at him, and told him exactly how those kinds of remarks over the years made me feel. It was kind of liberating, not feeling I had to shield him from my temper. I always used to put up with it before, because I didn't want to fight with him; now I don't care so much, because he's not everything to me any more. Damn, this is hard to explain - there are some things you say to friends that you wouldn't say to lovers, and vice versa. And now the roles have changed, we're communicating a lot better than we used to - we're being more honest, and I'm not afraid of sticking up for myself. His illness had a lot to do with that, too; I didn't want to be responsible for making him worse. But now the drugs are working and he's feeling more in control and happy with his life, I don't have that responsibility. Again, very liberating.
Now I just have to remember how to be single... It's been a while. ;)
