Ugh...

Why the hell am I still awake? Too afraid to go to bed, I s'pose, in case I end up in tears again. I hate crying - it leaves me all red and puffy like a tomato and makes my eyes itchy. It's times like this that time zones really suck. Although someone might be around in chat now; I'm not sure I want to do what I did to poor Staffie earlier - I know how frustrating it is to know someone online's hurting, but not being able to be there. I dislike putting other people in that position.

Gah, this is such a whingy weekend for me. I should be enjoying it, since it's the last before I go back to full-time and snatching writing and on-line time whenever I can. But isn't it ironic - in Melbourne, where I had friends available at a phone call, I never bothered, and up here, 300kms away, all I want is someone to go and have coffee and a chat with.

I need to get off my arse. I need to stop being so pathetic and go and get a life. I need to turn off this bloody computer and get some sleep.

Angst is contagious.

*hides face in embarrassment*

I'm tempted to just delete the last two entries - melodrama always looks so silly in the cold hard light of day. I won't, tho'. It would be like tearing out pages of my hand-written diaries; would be dishonest, no matter how dreadful they seem to be now. And maybe getting all that crap out of my system is good for me - like throwing up when you have food poisoning.

Sometimes I swear I have numerical dyslexia. Somehow I managed to mis-write Dex' phone number, not once, but twice. The country code was fine - it was the rest of it I stuffed up. No wonder I was so bad at maths in school - my habit of writing '9' for '6' and vice-versa isn't exactly good for accuracy. And I remember the hassles I had trying to balance the books at work that time - thre until six pm and it took Barry to notice I'd switched a couple of number from one side of the accounts book to the other. Argghh! BRM still finds it funny when I count on my fingers - it's lame, I know, but at least it's accurate. :P

The good thing about drinking good quality wine is that there's no hangover the next day. Lessee, a beer when I got there, about four glasses of wine, then a couple of Dad's white port... yep, definitely beyond driving last night. I probably would have been okay to walk, but dad called a taxi for me any way and gave me the fare - I'd wandered over to their place without my wallet. Wouldn't hav edone much good if I'd had it; after Friday night, it's pretty much empty, except for some coinage.

Plans for the day... hrm, we're really starting to need food. I'll have to ride down to Safeways and fill up my panniers; 20kg of groceries is always such fun to get home. At least on a Sunday morning the traffic shouldn't be too bad. Not that it ever does get bad here - apart from that woman in the Tarago the first week I was here, the ride's been a doddle. *chuckles* And somehow I doubt that woman will be cutting off cyclists in the future, after the serving I gave her at the roundabout. ;) Yelling at moronic car drivers is always so theraputic, even if I don't need to do much now.

I guess I could go for another mountain bike ride - see how far up that hill I can get, and what's on the other side. The other side of the hill, of course. ;) Dad says the track turns pretty rough as you head up; perfect for my new toy.

What I will do before logging off is post the first part of "Justice"; I'm curious to see what kind of reaction I get. I need to play around with "Suffer" some more, and while I'm in a perfect state to write Conjob at the moment (I haven't even had a shower yet!) I don't have the concentration. Still, it was great to get feedback from girlyskin *waves to Cathy* - her timing was impeccable. ;)


Question for any Canadians watching; does anyone know the name of the Canadian band that did a song called "Rosy and Grey"? I have a version by Weddings Parties Anything, and I heard the original while I was in Toronto las year (on the Magic Bus to Niagra) and it's driving me nuts.

"I've been told
There's a sucker born every day
And I wonder who, yes I do, I wonder who.
Is it one who don't realise,
There's a thousand shades of grey?
I know it's true, yes I do, I know it's true.


Everything is coming up, rosy and grey,
And the wind is cold, and the smell of salt
(washes?) the day.
And your smile is fine, it's just like wine
And it won't go away
Everything is coming up, everything is coming up,
Everything is coming up rosy and grey."

Play it loud.

More on theme music. I'm in one of those moods that requires something loud, something brash, something that says, "I don't give a rat's." Hence Hunters and Collectors, the live album. Lots of guitar, lots of drums, and some brass thrown in. I don't go in for heavy metal, so this is my substitute. ;)

*listens* Ooh, favourite song! "Blind Eye." How's this for lyrics?

"Like a bulldozer chasing butterflies,
Down sad English streets you wander.
Over sleeping bodies you step lightly.
And the snow, on the ground
Lets you pass by without a sound.
One last look before you disappear."

Danm this is a good CD.

Just a quick entry...

... as I'm heading out the door. Mum and Dad's friends (Bob and Marion) are taking us down to the Dragon Court Restaurant - I love this place, it's the best Chinese restaurant I've been to in ages. And the waiter is extremely cute. ;)

Not long off the phone to Shai. :) Man, I'm getting spoilt with all these long distance phone calls. Still, turnabout is fair play - at some point in time those who have called me will be getting long distance calls from Australia, probably at strange hours in the night since the time zones are a bugger... *evil grin* Darn forget to get Shai's number; I'll have to ask her for it next time I'm in chat. And write the bloody thing down properly. I added an extra '3' to mine when I gave it to Shai - I still haven't memorised it, so I was going from my filofax. Gah.

Shit, better go - they'll freak if I'm late, and I still have to put my contact lenses in. Nothing like cold wet plastic to wake your eyes up when you're tired. ;)