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deathpixie) wrote2003-11-25 04:30 pm
deathpixie) wrote2003-11-25 04:30 pm
In The Public's Service: Chapter Three
Yes, it's still continuing, after a pause yesterday due to blah-ness...
Elsewhere…
Mel watched her henchpeople going about their henching from the window of her office. Her current hideout was an old warehouse, and there was plenty of space downstairs for henching, whilst she could oversee in a suitably villainous leader-ly manner upstairs. She felt the urge to rub her hands together and "bwahahaha!" appropriately, so she did. But only a little, since the "bawhahaha!"-ing made her throat sore and the henchmen had already gone out for Strepsils more times than was usual. She couldn't help it - her plans were coming nicely together. Come midnight, the world would be plunged into total chaos as every individual in the world would be rendered incapable of coherent speech.
"And then the world will be mine!" she declared, with another villainous chuckle. There wasn't anybody in the room, but she really couldn't help herself. "And I can start that upholstered footstool monopoly I always wanted!"
There was a scrape at the door and a henchperson (one of hers - Sheep Boy's henchmen wore blue lab coats, whilst hers were in the more traditional white. Although they all wore the regulation red sneakers. This particular henchperson was short enough so the coat trailed on the ground, and her short dark hair was done up in two little pigtails on either side of her head. 'Hi! My Name Is LISE', read her nametag) stuck her head around. "Um, dread Lord and Mistress of All Things Cool and Villain-y?"
"What is it? Can't you see I'm gloating here?"
"Um, ah, you remember when you said yesterday that nothing was going to stand in your way?"
"Of course. It was only yesterday. Why, I can even tell you what I had for breakfast yesterday, my memory is so good!" Mel screwed up her nose. "It was a cucumber sandwich, wasn't it?"
Lise's face wrinkled as she fought a brief battle of honesty over commonsense, but honestly won. "Ah, that was lunch."
Mel frowned. "I could have sworn… Sausages!"
"Er, dinner last Tuesday."
"A nice big bowl of salad?"
"Lunch three weeks ago."
"Bum." Mel tried again. "Toast? With Vegemite?"
Lise nodded eagerly, glad of something vaguely breakfast-ish. "That was it."
"See? Mind like a… thing. Made of that stuff that goes rusty, bites your leg off."
Taking the plunge, Lise tried again. "Ah, Lord and Mistress of all things Cool and Villain-y? I was saying, you said nothing can go wrong?"
"Of course it can't. I'm about to have my moment of evil triumph. There is no wrong here."
"Um."
"There's a wrong?"
"You might want to have a look at the security cameras. Your roomie wants a word - apparently there's a couple of superhero-types hanging around Toronto." Lise blurted out her news as fast as she could, trying to avoid another particularly Mel-like diversion. Getting to the point was a difficult job with this particular villain, especially when there were shiny things around.
"Superheroes? That's not cool." Mel pouted. "No fair, trying to spoil my lovely plan. We'll just have to do something about it. Where's Sheep Boy?"
"In the basement lab."
"Go get him. We need to plot."
***
Bernadette looked at the mobile phone she was holding in disgust. Her boss was on the other end of the line and she'd just spent a few futile minutes trying to explain why she couldn't be on call, as she was in hospital. She'd finally done the "OMG, there's static on the line, must rush off." trick and hung up on him.
Jo came back from the bathroom and raised an eyebrow at her partner. "Things not going well, I take it?"
"He said that if I was in hospital, I wouldn't be moving very far and thus could afford to take calls."
"Told you they wouldn't buy the hospital story, mate."
Bernadette shook her head and then looked over at the hotel reception desk. "How about we book in and then go and check out this warehouse?"
Back at the Basement Lab...
Acetal looked up as a small blue sheep dropped a letter on his desk. He cackled softly to himself, and slit the letter open with his pocket knife. It was a letter from Australia, from Lynx even, his arch-nemesis. What could she want? Just as he was about to read the intriguing missive there was a knock at the lab door.
"Um...Mr Mad Scientist Sir? Her Lord and Mistress of all things Cool and Villain-y wants to see you immediately."
Acetal harrumphed and placed the letter on his desk. Interruptions, whenever he got a good evil thought going, there were always interruptions. It was getting so bad that he couldn't even go to the shops without something blowing up, or, well, the flying sheep but he hadn't decided yet whether they were real or merely his imagination. The fact that others could see them too, didn't mean a thing. Mass suggestion was well known, TV hypnotists had made a killing out of it for years.
Grumping softly to himself about TV, sheep and various other things, he slowly stumped up the steps to Mel's room.
***
Spiffy Hotel…
Jo watched in amusement as Bernadette bounced on the bed. "You're just a big kid, Cupcake."
Bernadette pouted. "But it's soft! And bouncy!"
"Is that why you jumped on Marshmallow Man so much?"
"No, I jumped on him because he was trying to make chocolate healthy so people would eat marshmallows instead." Bernadette stopped bouncing on the bed. "Now that's truly evil." Jo snorted and Bernadette poked out her tongue. "Hey, speaking of evil, are you ever going to prise yourself off that heater? We have a warehouse to stakeout."
Jo whimpered, looking up at Bernadette with big eyes. "But it's so warm, and outside it's cold and there are wolves."
"Wolves?" Bernadette swatted her fellow-hero and dragged her to her feet. "There aren't any wolves in Toronto."
"How about flying blue sheep?" Jo replied, looking over Bernadette's shoulder to the window.
"Blue flying sheep? Now you're just being ridiculous…" Bernadette began, just as the window smashed inward, showering them with glass, and a flying blue sheep knocked them both to the floor.
***
Evil-Doers Lair
Mel looked over at Acetal. "Blue sheep? Dude, I hate to mention it, but isn't the sheep thing getting just a teensy bit obsessive?"
"Baa! Baa, baa, baa! Baa?" Acetal said defensively. Mel sighed.
"Trust me to get the evil cohort with the wool obsession."
***
Jo rolled as she impacted with the sheep, briefly aware that Bernadette was doing the same; they both came up at the same time, laser pistols aimed at the sheep that was desperately trying to look innocent. Jo raised an eyebrow as she caught sight of her partner's pistol. "You've been watching Star Trek: Next Gen again, haven't you?"
Bernadette looked slightly embarrassed. "It was the only one Dia had left in stock."
"Right."
They both looked at the blue sheep, Bernadette's foot effectively pinning a wing to the floor. It looked up at her with big brown sheepy eyes and whimpered. "Don't try that on me, buster. Now, what the hell are you doing in our hotel room?"
****
Somewhere, in the vast Canadian wilderness a small hole appeared in the tundra and a package was pushed out onto the ground. This package appeared to be ticking.
Elsewhere…
Mel watched her henchpeople going about their henching from the window of her office. Her current hideout was an old warehouse, and there was plenty of space downstairs for henching, whilst she could oversee in a suitably villainous leader-ly manner upstairs. She felt the urge to rub her hands together and "bwahahaha!" appropriately, so she did. But only a little, since the "bawhahaha!"-ing made her throat sore and the henchmen had already gone out for Strepsils more times than was usual. She couldn't help it - her plans were coming nicely together. Come midnight, the world would be plunged into total chaos as every individual in the world would be rendered incapable of coherent speech.
"And then the world will be mine!" she declared, with another villainous chuckle. There wasn't anybody in the room, but she really couldn't help herself. "And I can start that upholstered footstool monopoly I always wanted!"
There was a scrape at the door and a henchperson (one of hers - Sheep Boy's henchmen wore blue lab coats, whilst hers were in the more traditional white. Although they all wore the regulation red sneakers. This particular henchperson was short enough so the coat trailed on the ground, and her short dark hair was done up in two little pigtails on either side of her head. 'Hi! My Name Is LISE', read her nametag) stuck her head around. "Um, dread Lord and Mistress of All Things Cool and Villain-y?"
"What is it? Can't you see I'm gloating here?"
"Um, ah, you remember when you said yesterday that nothing was going to stand in your way?"
"Of course. It was only yesterday. Why, I can even tell you what I had for breakfast yesterday, my memory is so good!" Mel screwed up her nose. "It was a cucumber sandwich, wasn't it?"
Lise's face wrinkled as she fought a brief battle of honesty over commonsense, but honestly won. "Ah, that was lunch."
Mel frowned. "I could have sworn… Sausages!"
"Er, dinner last Tuesday."
"A nice big bowl of salad?"
"Lunch three weeks ago."
"Bum." Mel tried again. "Toast? With Vegemite?"
Lise nodded eagerly, glad of something vaguely breakfast-ish. "That was it."
"See? Mind like a… thing. Made of that stuff that goes rusty, bites your leg off."
Taking the plunge, Lise tried again. "Ah, Lord and Mistress of all things Cool and Villain-y? I was saying, you said nothing can go wrong?"
"Of course it can't. I'm about to have my moment of evil triumph. There is no wrong here."
"Um."
"There's a wrong?"
"You might want to have a look at the security cameras. Your roomie wants a word - apparently there's a couple of superhero-types hanging around Toronto." Lise blurted out her news as fast as she could, trying to avoid another particularly Mel-like diversion. Getting to the point was a difficult job with this particular villain, especially when there were shiny things around.
"Superheroes? That's not cool." Mel pouted. "No fair, trying to spoil my lovely plan. We'll just have to do something about it. Where's Sheep Boy?"
"In the basement lab."
"Go get him. We need to plot."
***
Bernadette looked at the mobile phone she was holding in disgust. Her boss was on the other end of the line and she'd just spent a few futile minutes trying to explain why she couldn't be on call, as she was in hospital. She'd finally done the "OMG, there's static on the line, must rush off." trick and hung up on him.
Jo came back from the bathroom and raised an eyebrow at her partner. "Things not going well, I take it?"
"He said that if I was in hospital, I wouldn't be moving very far and thus could afford to take calls."
"Told you they wouldn't buy the hospital story, mate."
Bernadette shook her head and then looked over at the hotel reception desk. "How about we book in and then go and check out this warehouse?"
Back at the Basement Lab...
Acetal looked up as a small blue sheep dropped a letter on his desk. He cackled softly to himself, and slit the letter open with his pocket knife. It was a letter from Australia, from Lynx even, his arch-nemesis. What could she want? Just as he was about to read the intriguing missive there was a knock at the lab door.
"Um...Mr Mad Scientist Sir? Her Lord and Mistress of all things Cool and Villain-y wants to see you immediately."
Acetal harrumphed and placed the letter on his desk. Interruptions, whenever he got a good evil thought going, there were always interruptions. It was getting so bad that he couldn't even go to the shops without something blowing up, or, well, the flying sheep but he hadn't decided yet whether they were real or merely his imagination. The fact that others could see them too, didn't mean a thing. Mass suggestion was well known, TV hypnotists had made a killing out of it for years.
Grumping softly to himself about TV, sheep and various other things, he slowly stumped up the steps to Mel's room.
***
Spiffy Hotel…
Jo watched in amusement as Bernadette bounced on the bed. "You're just a big kid, Cupcake."
Bernadette pouted. "But it's soft! And bouncy!"
"Is that why you jumped on Marshmallow Man so much?"
"No, I jumped on him because he was trying to make chocolate healthy so people would eat marshmallows instead." Bernadette stopped bouncing on the bed. "Now that's truly evil." Jo snorted and Bernadette poked out her tongue. "Hey, speaking of evil, are you ever going to prise yourself off that heater? We have a warehouse to stakeout."
Jo whimpered, looking up at Bernadette with big eyes. "But it's so warm, and outside it's cold and there are wolves."
"Wolves?" Bernadette swatted her fellow-hero and dragged her to her feet. "There aren't any wolves in Toronto."
"How about flying blue sheep?" Jo replied, looking over Bernadette's shoulder to the window.
"Blue flying sheep? Now you're just being ridiculous…" Bernadette began, just as the window smashed inward, showering them with glass, and a flying blue sheep knocked them both to the floor.
***
Evil-Doers Lair
Mel looked over at Acetal. "Blue sheep? Dude, I hate to mention it, but isn't the sheep thing getting just a teensy bit obsessive?"
"Baa! Baa, baa, baa! Baa?" Acetal said defensively. Mel sighed.
"Trust me to get the evil cohort with the wool obsession."
***
Jo rolled as she impacted with the sheep, briefly aware that Bernadette was doing the same; they both came up at the same time, laser pistols aimed at the sheep that was desperately trying to look innocent. Jo raised an eyebrow as she caught sight of her partner's pistol. "You've been watching Star Trek: Next Gen again, haven't you?"
Bernadette looked slightly embarrassed. "It was the only one Dia had left in stock."
"Right."
They both looked at the blue sheep, Bernadette's foot effectively pinning a wing to the floor. It looked up at her with big brown sheepy eyes and whimpered. "Don't try that on me, buster. Now, what the hell are you doing in our hotel room?"
****
Somewhere, in the vast Canadian wilderness a small hole appeared in the tundra and a package was pushed out onto the ground. This package appeared to be ticking.