Food for thought on Internet etiquette

[deathpixie]

Normally Cracked.com is the place for silly lists and articles to make you laugh. But every so often, they come up with something that is still amusing, but also actually thought-provoking (even if it's unintentional). This article is one of those. There's a lot of interesting observations on Internet behaviour and (dis)function.

The part on "Internet Asperger's Syndrome is especially interesting, given this section:

"Asperger's Syndrome: This rarely diagnosed but often claimed disorder is a mild form of Autism that comes with what seems to be a biological inability to show empathy for other human beings, as well as (and maybe stemming from) an inability to recognize nonverbal cues...

...Calacanis figured out that people who do all of their communicating online wind up mimicking Asperger's behaviors because they are imposing the same disadvantages on themselves. In both cases, when the ability to see nonverbal responses and facial expressions goes away, so does empathy. Soon the thing you're communicating with isn't a person, they're just a bunch of words on a screen." Emphasis mine.

We've all seen this. The "pixel people" phenomenon, where people act like utter jerks to someone they've never seen, just because that person isn't "real" to them. It explains a lot of the really inappropriate behaviour - not just violent outbursts, but also the propositioning, the invasive questions, the just plain "wrongness" of some people's interactions. Asperger's is certainly the flavour of the month in terms of psychology (just as schizophrenia was back a hundred years ago, and ECT was the treatment du jour for everything at one point - psychology goes through trends just like everything else), but I think it tends to be bandied around the internet a little too much, becoming an excuse rather than a legitimate condition. "Internet Aspergers" makes so much more sense - people who admittedly have socialisation issues forgetting even those basic mores as soon as they start communicating online with any great frequency.

If you read the article, you'll probably do what I wound up doing, coming up with examples of just about every 'type' listed. Including myself - I tend towards the Grammer Nazi thing, since there's that whole "the world's a mess and I just need to clean it up" attitude going on. ;)

Comments

[redmonster.livejournal.com]

I can read the first page, but the second keeps jamming up my browser and I can't read to the end of the first entry. Woe. (I'm at work using IE and I'm not allowed to update the browser or mess with the software in any way.)

[seraangel.livejournal.com]

I just walk away from those conversations these days. Much healthier for both people involved, the person who isn't showing any empathy, and the person likely to get pissed off because the other person isn't showing empathy.

Not always an option, I suppose, but it helps to deal with around 80% of potentially stressful situations.

I think it was that I finally realised that my desire for someone to understand me and what I was saying was less then my desire not to feel like I was being treated like crap on the Internet.

[alestar]

Eh, I've got a couple of problems with that:

(a) That's an unfair reduction of Asperger's Syndrome-- which I realize is totes not the point, but I wanted to put that out there. The daughter of one of my friends has Asperger's for reals (she leveled up from autism to Asperger's after years of sensory integration therapy), and while she's intensely inner-focused, I would never accuse her of lacking empathy;

(b) Some people are assholes; this is, in some cases, a psychological or neurological phenomenon, but often it's someone who's a dick; I'd suggest that the people who are dicks on the Internet would be dicks to you in real life if they thought they could get away with it. IE, the absence of empathy isn't conditional, and only the anonymity is variable. They're not "forgetting social mores" so much as they're acting in a way that they'd love to act in their daily lives if they had the immunity.

Also, Asperger is always awkward to say in conversation because it sounds like ass burger.

[ion-duck.livejournal.com]

Agreed.

I have to ex-girlfriends who pop up in my life from time to time with or without my desire to have them around. One, in retrospect never did a damn thing to show they cared without some sort of benefit for themself. The other could be extremely quiet but also very gentle and caring. Can you guess which one had Asperger's?

[deathpixie]

That's the point, tho'. People label arseholes online as "having Aspergers" despite the fact they actually don't.

[deathpixie]

Eh, I'll have to disagree on the "people who are dicks online would be dicks in person if they could get away with it" angle. I've known several people who can be the most awful people to others online, yet in person are fun and charming and show all indications they are fully capable of having empathy and not being an arsehole. For some reason, you put a screeen in front of these people and they ignore/forget everything they've ever learned about social behaviour, because it's on the Internet and thus the people aren't real.

[ion-duck.livejournal.com]

Diagnoised the first one as Asperger's... no-- I think I said some combination of narcissitic personality disorder, bipolar and being just generally amoral.

[ion-duck.livejournal.com]

Wait-- that's what I've been doing wrong. It's be a dick online and nice in real life. For the past three and a half years I've been doing it backwards. Now I just feel stupid.

[obsidian179.livejournal.com]

Well, speaking as someone who was diagnosed many years ago with Asperger's, dealing with people in person is often a lot more difficult then doing so online. I'll admit, I do sometimes have problems dealing with other people face to face. I don't know if I'd call it a lack of empathy, exactly, as I can often figure out what they mean if I work at it, but that's the thing: it isn't always automatic. Oh, easy stuff, sure: basic emotions, humor, sarcasm, etc. But if I want to actually see something from someone else's point of view, I have to work at it. I am not unemotional, I am not stupid, and that I am not much of a group person is not a huge failing, no matter what some people out there may think.

I don't think much about Asperger's, honestly. Perhaps it's because - as I was told, back when I was diagnosed - I'm fairly high functioning, on the Asperger's scale. I know I don't necessarily think the same way as most people, but it doesn't always seem that way. I have my own apartment, my own car, I pay for anything I might buy on my own. I do prefer dealing with people online because I am able to present myself more coherently this way. Indeed, when I tell people online that I have Asperger's, they're always surprised. (And often confused, leading to looking up links that explain exactly what the heck it is.)

"Internet Asperger's", frankly, is a little insulting. (No, I'm not upset with you. ^_^) If you meet someone like that online and think they have Asperger's, chances are you're wrong. Some people are just jackholes, and take advantage of the anonymity provided by the internet to get away with it.