Rossi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deathpixie) wrote2002-01-28 07:38 pm
deathpixie) wrote2002-01-28 07:38 pm
The perils of self-absorption
I've said before, somewhere, I'm sure, about how self-centred and self-absorbed feeling down makes you. Everything is about you, and you forget the thousands of small kindnesses other do in favour of the one slight, often imagined. I'm not apologising for venting, because that is, as several friends have told me, what the LJ is for. But I will apologise for being selfish, for discounting the many wonderful things people do for me. I know you guys love me, I just need reminding sometimes - without posts like that to prompt it.
I'm glad you guys aren't letting me get away with that crap so much. It's a slippery slope, making posts like that - you post because you need the attention, the confirmation that yes, people do love you - but it's so easy to fall into the habit of using those posts as a crutch, as a means of validation. Yes, I need a place to vent, to get out the stuff that I can't get out anywhere else, but I have to remember to keep it in perspective. To not let it consume me. To not let it blind me to the good things in my life, to what people do for me, all the time.
Two steps forward, one step back. It takes time, this life business. Time and effort. And the effort is all the harder when it seems there's no reward, no benefit in sight. But it is there, and I can make it, I just have to keep plugging away at it. I'm a good person, and I need to remember that.
Thanks guys.
I'm glad you guys aren't letting me get away with that crap so much. It's a slippery slope, making posts like that - you post because you need the attention, the confirmation that yes, people do love you - but it's so easy to fall into the habit of using those posts as a crutch, as a means of validation. Yes, I need a place to vent, to get out the stuff that I can't get out anywhere else, but I have to remember to keep it in perspective. To not let it consume me. To not let it blind me to the good things in my life, to what people do for me, all the time.
Two steps forward, one step back. It takes time, this life business. Time and effort. And the effort is all the harder when it seems there's no reward, no benefit in sight. But it is there, and I can make it, I just have to keep plugging away at it. I'm a good person, and I need to remember that.
Thanks guys.