It's been over two weeks. It's getting to the point that I have a point of about fifteen minutes in the morning where I feel less-crappy, and then I make myself have a glass of juice and maybe eat something, and the feeling of being on the brink of vomiting (but never actually doing it, that would actually be welcome right now) comes back and lasts with me for the rest of the day. I'm eating, but small amounts. I'm staggering through my work days like a zombie, I'm dropping weight in a disturbing way and I can't focus on things for terribly long, as I either forget what I'm doing, can't think what it is I'm supposed to do or don't have the energy to do it. I'm depressed and teary most of the time because my blood sugar's in the toilet. And the roomie's had to shuffle me to bed a few times this week since I haven't had the energy to get off the couch.
Never have I felt so crappy for so long a time. No, it hasn't gotten better. But neither has it gotten worse, which would justify going to the ER and having something drastic done.
I called the medical clinic. My ultrasound results are there, and it's walk-in until 2:30pm. I've called in at work - three day work week, it's going to hurt the pay, but I can't really do much else - I'm going to go have a shower, try and eat some cereal, and then go down and find out what the deal is. I'm going to be asking about medication for the nausea, about prospects for this ever going away, about surgery even if there's no actual stones in there.
And until I actually come out and say otherwise, assume that no, I'm not feeling any better. I'm tired of feeling like shit, I'm tired of it being the only thing I can focus on and I'm tired of being boring and whining about it. So whilst I've been interacting as per normal, I also have little to no coping or management skills at the moment. Don't be surprised if I just fold up if there's something I can't deal with. Which, considering my current state, would be anything more than the basics. And I'm not even managing those terribly well.
