Still here

[deathpixie]

The session went okay. First session, lots of rehashing of everything in my life. Which left little time for actual addressing, beyond the usual sort of pep talk I get from my friends. *wry* Yes, you've all been right all along and I'm a dope. I made another appointment for two weeks, came home, cried through a shower and then curled up on the couch in my pyjamas watching West Wing with the roomie. I'm okay. Not great, but okay. I've taken that first step, at least.

We'll see how it goes.

Apologies for not answering any personal email after a certain point today - I just haven't been in the best frame of mind for talking about problems. Mine or anyone else's.

Comments

[ferox.livejournal.com]

I know the first few months, I had one every week... is that swingable?

*hugs* Love. Don't apologise and enjoy the time with your friend. And with CJ.

Mmm... CJ.

[technophobia.livejournal.com]

"The Jackal" makes me so ever-lovin' hot for CJ.

CJ/Danny OTP.

[ferox.livejournal.com]

I love the episode with Simon and CJ at the range.

C.J.: I like that you're tall.
SIMON: You do?
C.J.: It makes me feel more feminine.

Just because it's so... not serious. But it is. But it- okay, maybe it's a tall woman joke, but that exchange did it for me.

[technophobia.livejournal.com]

I did love Simon, because Mark Harmon is awesome, but I've always had a soft spot for Danny Concannon.

[ferox.livejournal.com]

Oh, I don't care one way or the other about the pairings. More CJ for me, please.

(I also adore the time the President called her Claudia Jean. Because. Well. CLAUDIA JEAN. Ohlove.)

It's really too bad politics makes me foam at the mouth and drop into really quiet seizures, or, you know. I'd watch more.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bounce_/]

C.J. is so many kinds of awesome.

[deathpixie]

Once a week not swingable, no. As it is I have to take time off work for the next appointment (not too much, just leaving an hour and a half early), and I don't get paid for that, so I'm trying to avoid that. Hassles of a therapist covered by OHIP. *wry*

[technophobia.livejournal.com]

You're not a dope. But I'm glad you're okay, and the session went okay.

[winterknight.livejournal.com]

You're not a dope. I'm glad it went okay. :) Enjoy your jammies and your downtime, you deserve it. It's hard work, shovelling crap out of the old attic.

[msss.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Yeah, it feels weird doesn't it? Like I should go in and they should give me the magic instructions to fix my life that everyone else has and it'll all work.

Today was less of an "Aha!" session for me, but a couple more interesting realisations.

*hugs again*

[deathpixie]

Yeah, that's exactly it. Especially when I know pretty much what's up, but still have to go through it all again. And telling me to nuture myself is all well and good, but I need to feel worthy of nurturing first. :P

*hugsback* Still, we'll both keep at it, yeah?

[msss.livejournal.com]

Yes, definitely. We've finally worked out what Mum has, and it helps a little to understand lots of things. Of course, now the trick is to work out the next steps.

[indiana-j.livejournal.com]

Again with the you're not a dope. *hugs* I'm glad it went well and I'm glad it sounds like you guys clicked. That's the hardest part with finding a therapist...finding one who works well with you.

Small steps are good steps. *hugs again*

[deathpixie]

Well, it's more of a 'I know I need help so this person is it' situation than actual clicking. She's Asian, has a fairly strong accent and doesn't always understand me the first time I say something. However, she's covered by the health system, so I'll make do.

Hopefully next session will be a bit more productive than yesterday's.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bounce_/]

*hugs* I'm glad it didn't go too badly.

[dumbphilomel.livejournal.com]

Glad it went ok, and I really hope you get out of it whatever you need.