Meaning.

[deathpixie]

Something Lise wrote elsewhere that is resonating within me:

"...whatever you do, if you do it from love, it's not wrong. You just gotta do your thing."

I just got back the last five years.

See, the thing that was really crushing me, what was keeping me awake at night and hitting me right between the eyes at unexpected moments is the feeling that I've been a fool for staying with BRM as long as I did. That the last five years were wasted. But I did what I did out of love, and while it didn't go the way I wanted to, it's not meaningless. It's not wasted. It was 'my thing', and it was what I had to do. The only choice I made in the last five years that was truly mine.

I can live with that.

***

Work was... the technical term I believe is "shitful". *grins* We had probably 100 cases listed all up, and it was just as well we had "Speedy" McLeod on deck as a magistrate, or otherwise we'd have been screwed, completely and utterly. Poor old John Hardy wouldn't have made it into the courtroom - we'd have been giving him CPR in the office after his finding out how bad it was.

Speaking of CPR, one of the defendants passed out in the foyer after his case. I went out to get him to sign some documentation, and there he was, completely out of it on the floor. His mate knew first aid and got him into the coma position and checked his pulse and breathing, and the police officer on the door stayed with him while I got the office to call an ambulance. It was really just a faint, but it was best to be on the safe side - I've heard of courts being sued over less. So, fun and games. Almost as exciting as the time a co-worker had an epileptic fit in the office whilst I was in Melbourne. Being one of two first aiders, I got the job of looking after him during and afterwards. Scary stuff to watch, someone fitting.

Needless to say, we all felt we deserved a drink after a day like that and had a quiet light ale or two in the staff room after closing. And tomorrow I get a break from court, as we have a committal to trial going on and Paula's the only one trained in that area. It's booked in for the day, and somehow we have twelve intervention orders also listed. Only one magistrate. Lots of fun, not.

Early to bed for me tonight. Got the warm fuzzies from tai chi and the cup of cocoa (with a dash of butterscotch schnapps, yum!) I just finished, so hopefully no sleep problems tonight. Oh, and GASPers? Remember that morning I was telling you about having a dream about work and having to beat up a defendant? The one where I even had a name for him? Well, that actual person did turn up today and give us some trouble, but luckily not to the point where I had to karate-chop his larynx. ;)

Weird subconscious again.

Night all. Take care.

Comments

*grins*

[ex-thissuga.livejournal.com]

It's true, though. *hugs* Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Because if you love something, someone, are in love with a moment, a band, a person, a job, a place, a hobby, a piece of furniture -- whatever it is, it matters.