Dahhhling! Purple sparkly? It will clash sooo badly with your hair! When you get home, let my favourite 24-carat hunk (no, I'm only joking: he's a swell guy - well, he always makes me swell, if you know what I mean) Maurice take a lookie at your tootsies, pet - he'll do them up a treat for you. How's your lip gloss supply? I have the Vegemite Tints range back in the salon, something those silly Seppoes have no appreciation for - fair makes your ends split (remind me to tell you about my recent adventures with my split end sometime - I'll send you some photos of what split it, if you need a quick pick-me-up). Enough of the gay banter, here's my 6am appointment - now, How are you, Serge? Was it the full body, or the back, crack and sac wax today? Just a rub? Ohh, THAT kind of rub . . . well,let's see now . . . where are my appliances . . . ?
AAAAAAGGGHHH!! AAAAHHHH! UUURRRKKK! HAAAK! PTOOEY! I have been possessed by the pornographically-inclined soul of the camp cousin of the proprietor of Cheneille's Institut de Beaute - RUN AWAYYYYY!!!!! Just look for the big pair of legs with the escape hatch between them . . . NOOOOO! (Mark writhes in semi-feigned agony on the floor, clawing at his skull)
More when I'm feeling more sensible - sensible, pet? he's not such a good feel . . . STOP IT! GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN'S NEPHEW!!!
On second thoughts, just stay 50 metres away at all times . . . OK?
NO, I DO NOT WANT A FACIAL!
OR A FOOT MASSAGE!
Is this my closet homophobe coming out? Or am I just a Toyota Celica fancier under all this macho bravado?
I promise you that I have not drunk any coffee this morning.
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Date: 2002-08-24 01:31 pm (UTC)AAAAAAGGGHHH!! AAAAHHHH! UUURRRKKK! HAAAK! PTOOEY! I have been possessed by the pornographically-inclined soul of the camp cousin of the proprietor of Cheneille's Institut de Beaute - RUN AWAYYYYY!!!!!
Just look for the big pair of legs with the escape hatch between them . . . NOOOOO! (Mark writhes in semi-feigned agony on the floor, clawing at his skull)
More when I'm feeling more sensible - sensible, pet? he's not such a good feel . . . STOP IT! GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN'S NEPHEW!!!
On second thoughts, just stay 50 metres away at all times . . . OK?
NO, I DO NOT WANT A FACIAL!
OR A FOOT MASSAGE!
Is this my closet homophobe coming out? Or am I just a Toyota Celica fancier under all this macho bravado?
I promise you that I have not drunk any coffee this morning.