NanoWriMo 2009 - Midpoint
Nov. 16th, 2009 02:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deathpixieSo, here I am, half-way through [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]. I thought I'd do a little pause for reflection, since I'm feeling reflective.
Last year, I only made it to the 17th, and that time I not only had a few days of missed posts, but I'd also recycled various bits of fiction I had on my harddrive when inspiration failed. This year, I've only missed one day - the 10th - due to an insane day's work and no computer access that night whatsoever, and I posted two fics by Wednesday afternoon. Everything has also been 'fresh' - nothing previously written and reused, everything written that day.
I'm feeling rather proud of myself, actually.
The difference this year is that I've figured out I don't have to be brilliant - I just have to write. And in a way, having the 'stage' to myself is actually taking off some of the pressure, since I'm not reading other people's work and feeling inadequate. I'm using online sources for ideas - webcomics, random idea generators, image webbsites, news feeds - and I'm allowing myself to write as much, or as little, as is needed.
It's funny. One of my favourite pieces was Ghost Story. Two sentences, that's all. But those two sentences say more than the paragraphs I wrote and rewrote and finally deleted because they didn't work. I never thought something so short could actually have so much depth to it.
The other thing I'm noticing is that I'm not holding my breath waiting for feedback any more. I did, the first few posts, but then I realised that I'm getting enjoyment out of the words, the exercise of writing, and the fact I'm able to come up with something different every day. Sure, feedback is great - we all like the validation of someone saying "hey, good story" - but where I would once curl into a ball of self-disgust ("I suck, I can't write, everyone hates what I'm doing"), I can actually sit back and look at what I've done and say, "Yes, this works, this is good. This needs some work, this was just pure coasting and it shows, but this? This is fantastic."
For me to be able to do that is a huge step.
Last year, I only made it to the 17th, and that time I not only had a few days of missed posts, but I'd also recycled various bits of fiction I had on my harddrive when inspiration failed. This year, I've only missed one day - the 10th - due to an insane day's work and no computer access that night whatsoever, and I posted two fics by Wednesday afternoon. Everything has also been 'fresh' - nothing previously written and reused, everything written that day.
I'm feeling rather proud of myself, actually.
The difference this year is that I've figured out I don't have to be brilliant - I just have to write. And in a way, having the 'stage' to myself is actually taking off some of the pressure, since I'm not reading other people's work and feeling inadequate. I'm using online sources for ideas - webcomics, random idea generators, image webbsites, news feeds - and I'm allowing myself to write as much, or as little, as is needed.
It's funny. One of my favourite pieces was Ghost Story. Two sentences, that's all. But those two sentences say more than the paragraphs I wrote and rewrote and finally deleted because they didn't work. I never thought something so short could actually have so much depth to it.
The other thing I'm noticing is that I'm not holding my breath waiting for feedback any more. I did, the first few posts, but then I realised that I'm getting enjoyment out of the words, the exercise of writing, and the fact I'm able to come up with something different every day. Sure, feedback is great - we all like the validation of someone saying "hey, good story" - but where I would once curl into a ball of self-disgust ("I suck, I can't write, everyone hates what I'm doing"), I can actually sit back and look at what I've done and say, "Yes, this works, this is good. This needs some work, this was just pure coasting and it shows, but this? This is fantastic."
For me to be able to do that is a huge step.
