Home again, home again...
Mar. 12th, 2002 10:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deathpixieSo, here I am after three and a half hours on the train. My butt's gone numb and I'm feeling a bit ick in the stomach from the veggie pastie I got from the on-board snack bar, but I'm here in one piece.
So, what a weekend. I'm feeling it now, the excess of it all - and not just the bad-for-me stuff like drinking, but the karate training and the... other exercise I got this morning and the walking. Lots of walking. But I'm feeling good - tired, but mellow. And strangely different in myself, like something's crossed over in me. Like I've hit some kind of landmark and things will be different from now on. I'm not sure I can explain it, or whether it's several nights of bad sleep (oh, how I'm looking forward to my own bed tonight!) talking, but something's changed. There's been a few things that have happened this weekend that have made me a different person than I was before. I'm still working out whether it's for the best or not.
Ah, but I have the travel bug something bad. I've got a lot of friends also travelling, and it's hard not to talk to them about their plans without getting excited about my own. I've been making mental lists, things To Do, things I want to do. I see myself out there, somewhere, just me and the backpack o' death. ;)
Sometimes I wonder if this plan of mine for spending five months away is a form of escape, of running away from my respsonsibilities, of running away from my life. In a way it is, if I'm honest with myself. I need to escape the person my life is making me into, leave behind the pressures and expectations and 'the right thing'. I need the distance to look at myself and decide where I'm going, who I am.
*grins* I always get philosophical when I'm tired. ;)
Any way, anyone who's emailed me in the last four or so days, expect an answer sometime this week. I think I'll take the lap top into work tomorrow and use the time between work adn tai chi to catch up - got me some serious beta work to do, to judge from the backlog - Ashling, Raph, Epona, I will get back to you soon. Considering there were somethign like 40 emails - half spam - in my box, it'll take me a bit to catch up again.
And everyone admire the lovely new icon IceWing made for me. Rather appropriate, I thought. IceWing, you da man. :)
So, what a weekend. I'm feeling it now, the excess of it all - and not just the bad-for-me stuff like drinking, but the karate training and the... other exercise I got this morning and the walking. Lots of walking. But I'm feeling good - tired, but mellow. And strangely different in myself, like something's crossed over in me. Like I've hit some kind of landmark and things will be different from now on. I'm not sure I can explain it, or whether it's several nights of bad sleep (oh, how I'm looking forward to my own bed tonight!) talking, but something's changed. There's been a few things that have happened this weekend that have made me a different person than I was before. I'm still working out whether it's for the best or not.
Ah, but I have the travel bug something bad. I've got a lot of friends also travelling, and it's hard not to talk to them about their plans without getting excited about my own. I've been making mental lists, things To Do, things I want to do. I see myself out there, somewhere, just me and the backpack o' death. ;)
Sometimes I wonder if this plan of mine for spending five months away is a form of escape, of running away from my respsonsibilities, of running away from my life. In a way it is, if I'm honest with myself. I need to escape the person my life is making me into, leave behind the pressures and expectations and 'the right thing'. I need the distance to look at myself and decide where I'm going, who I am.
*grins* I always get philosophical when I'm tired. ;)
Any way, anyone who's emailed me in the last four or so days, expect an answer sometime this week. I think I'll take the lap top into work tomorrow and use the time between work adn tai chi to catch up - got me some serious beta work to do, to judge from the backlog - Ashling, Raph, Epona, I will get back to you soon. Considering there were somethign like 40 emails - half spam - in my box, it'll take me a bit to catch up again.
And everyone admire the lovely new icon IceWing made for me. Rather appropriate, I thought. IceWing, you da man. :)
