Not with a bang but whimper...

[deathpixie]

Today was the last sitting day in the old courthouse. And it was something of an anti-climax really, with all the fanfare associated with the new court opening. We had a day-long not guilty case (two of them, actually, a couple facing charges to do with a road accident) that resolved at the last minute and became a rather mundane guilty plea to careless driving. So we were done by lunchtime and the newspaper missed it all. So they set up a photo session with the only person willing to do it (ie, me, gah) and got a few quotes from Pete (who is haivng a nervous breakdown over this whole moving thing) and got their article.

It's strange, reading over other people's journals, LJ and otherwise. Snippets of lives, glimpses of thoughts. It hurts, sometimes, to see people I care for having doubts, feeling bad, especially when I feel I can't do anything to help. And you know it's all about the helping with me. :)

Reading something Lise wrote about roads echoed something I said to Mel last night about travelling. This trip of mine I'm planning, it's more than just the physical travelling. It's an opportunity for me to look at my life, without the... stuff that hangs around my neck. Some might say I'm running away, and perhaps in some fashion I am, but it's something I need to do. I need the perspective, the distance, to look at my life and decide what it is I want to do. And I can't imagine doing this with any else but the people I'm doing it with. Because I can't think of better people to share this kind of journey with.

It all seems to be about me lately - the past few weeks I've been inwardly-focussed. But that's starting to change - I even answered a slab of email tonight. :) It's a bit like coming out of a dark cave, blinking in the sunlight. Or in the glare of rocket fire. I have to admit, seeing what's going on in the world around me, I'm a little tempted to go back to my cave. But like I was saying to Mel last night, this is the world I live in. And that's what I have to do.

Comments

[obsidian179.livejournal.com]

"So they set up a photo session with the only person willing to do it (ie, me, gah) and got a few quotes from Pete (who is haivng a nervous breakdown over this whole moving thing) and got their article."

Hmmm... Rossi photos? *tries vainly to look nonchalant* You'll be sure to provide a link for us when the story's published, yes?

And if it helps at all, you've made me feel better and helped me plenty. *hugs* Thanks.

[kielle.livejournal.com]

Don't forget, some of us do still use this as a diary...and the point of a diary, sometimes, is just to write down the bad stuff until it feels better. And just knowing people read it helps too. Don't worry, hon. *hug*

[deathpixie]

Oh, I know. I use it the same way myself. But it's still hard sometimes, especially when I feel what would be helpful would be a big in person hug and taking the person off for a coffee and a good talk. The distance gets in the way a lot. :P