I've been talked about behind my back a *lot* over the years (and it's meant quite literally, I guess people find it fun when they realize you'll never have a clue they're even talking if you're not looking at them) so you make a good point about the sniping in LJ.
There was someone some years ago in my RP group who would have her character moan and bitch and complain about the other characters outloud around the rest of us, where *we* knew what she was saying, but in-game, her character was in a place where none of the other characters could hear her. We had to sit through listening to her badmouth our characters and not speak up, lest we be accused of "god-moding" or cheating or what have you. It's very frustrating.
I've talked about others twice in my LJs. One person I avoided mentioning by name or with specifics because I wasn't actually talking about her, and I wasn't mad at her in the slightest (Kielle, and a post she made) and I didn't want to risk anyone getting all defensive and going after her for what soon proved to be a miscommunication on our parts and quickly resolved. I kept her name out of it to keep it under control.
The other time I did, I had some thoughts I wanted to get out, not preciesely attacks, mind, but wanted to ponder out some disturbing things I've felt. My LJ wouldn't be showing up in theirs, but mutual people and all that. I was upfront with who I was talking about, and why I was posting it in my LJ instead of confronting them directly. (I didn't think they'd care what I thought one way or another, so I basically said what I felt and kept it in the open, and left the ball in their court if they wanted to discuss things)
One of 'em approached me -- we had a calm conversation, and I recently approached the other after things calmed down IRL for me -- another calm conversation. I prefer dealing with things directly. All I can think is, if you really need to post to get something out of your system before perhaps doing a direct approach, either an IRL journal or making it a private post for your eyes only would be more appropriate.
While I do think it's appropriate to be able to say whatever we want in our journals, they shouldn't be used as a flaming neutral zone where any defenses earn a cry of foul. It's a balance, and each response/reaction depends on what's said and the emotions/maturity of the people involved, perhaps. (and yes, I've been rethinking a few thinks lately myself - I do rethink my opinions if I'm given a logical enough argument)
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You make a good point...
Date: 2001-05-17 11:51 pm (UTC)There was someone some years ago in my RP group who would have her character moan and bitch and complain about the other characters outloud around the rest of us, where *we* knew what she was saying, but in-game, her character was in a place where none of the other characters could hear her. We had to sit through listening to her badmouth our characters and not speak up, lest we be accused of "god-moding" or cheating or what have you. It's very frustrating.
I've talked about others twice in my LJs. One person I avoided mentioning by name or with specifics because I wasn't actually talking about her, and I wasn't mad at her in the slightest (Kielle, and a post she made) and I didn't want to risk anyone getting all defensive and going after her for what soon proved to be a miscommunication on our parts and quickly resolved. I kept her name out of it to keep it under control.
The other time I did, I had some thoughts I wanted to get out, not preciesely attacks, mind, but wanted to ponder out some disturbing things I've felt. My LJ wouldn't be showing up in theirs, but mutual people and all that. I was upfront with who I was talking about, and why I was posting it in my LJ instead of confronting them directly. (I didn't think they'd care what I thought one way or another, so I basically said what I felt and kept it in the open, and left the ball in their court if they wanted to discuss things)
One of 'em approached me -- we had a calm conversation, and I recently approached the other after things calmed down IRL for me -- another calm conversation. I prefer dealing with things directly. All I can think is, if you really need to post to get something out of your system before perhaps doing a direct approach, either an IRL journal or making it a private post for your eyes only would be more appropriate.
While I do think it's appropriate to be able to say whatever we want in our journals, they shouldn't be used as a flaming neutral zone where any defenses earn a cry of foul. It's a balance, and each response/reaction depends on what's said and the emotions/maturity of the people involved, perhaps. (and yes, I've been rethinking a few thinks lately myself - I do rethink my opinions if I'm given a logical enough argument)