The evil that men do.
May. 29th, 2001 07:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deathpixieWarning: this post contains discussion of issues that are very disturbing, namely child abuse. Please don't read if you are highly sensitive or easily upset.
I remember the other day, saying to my auntie Leanne on the way back from the book discussion group that I didn't believe that people were inherently evil. Today we had a case which has me doubting that now.
A normal day, for a Tuesday mention court. The usual parade of drunk drivers and drug-addicted burglars, with a couple of cannabis dealers/growers thrown in for good measure. It's heading for the lunchtime adjournment, and I'm thinking of what I'm going to have for lunch and wondering if I need to do any grocery shopping while I'm at it. I pop into the office for a moment to check on the Family Law case that's been in discussion all morning, and find Paula putting the finishing touches to three intervention order files that had come in over the counter.
'Damn,' I think, 'I hope this doesn't go on too long.' But I scoop them up and head back into court.
While the final police matter is going on, I flick through the files, reading the complaints. That's the applicant's reasons for wanting an order. This is one applicant, three defendants, all members of her family. At first glance I think it's just another stupid family dispute.
Then I read further.
When she was a child, the applicant was sexually abused by both her father and her brother. Both have been charged and convicted of her sexual assault. Her mother, when told of the abuse, did nothing to stop it, and indeed put pressure on her daughter to drop the allegations. Now an adult with two sons of her own, the applicant has found that her seven year-old son has been abused by her brother, his uncle, a diagnosed paedophile, whilst visiting his grandparents. They are fully aware of their son's problems with children, and knew not to leave their grandson alone with him. They still let it happen.
I don't know what disgusts me more; the paedophile brother abusing not only his own sister, but his own nephew, or the parents/grandparents, who not only failed to protect their grandson, but practically aided and abetted his abuse. The applicant's mother in particular, putting her husband and son before the safety of her daughter and grandchild. *shudders* How can people do that to other peopole? To children? Every time I come across something like this in my job - and while I was in Crimes Compensation at Heidelberg, 75% of the cases related to child abuse - I find myself angry and confused and despairing of human beings. What hope is there for us when we can do this kind of thing to our own flesh and blood?
I love my job - I'd have to, to stay despite the lousy pay and lack of staff - but sometimes it's hard. Really hard. I have to cultivate a certain professional distance, shut off part of myself, in order to cope. Most clerks of the court are like that, sometimes we're too distanced, and make lame jokes and make cynical comments. But it's keep our sanity in the face of the worst of human behaviour.
The suicide photos of the man who placed and golfball in his mouth, and then wound duct tape around his head and so suffocated himself. The cases of child neglect so bad that infants are found with cockroaches in their nappies and welfare workers have to wear cloths over their faces because the house smells so bad. The woman who lost concentration on a winding mountain road for a split second and collided head-on with another car, killing the mother-of-two driving and paralysing her fourteen year old son for life. The fourteen year old boy who has been sexually abusing his younger brothers.
I'm sorry if this post shocks or upsets people - indeed, I'd be worried if people weren't shocked and upset. But sometimes I just need to let it out, or it starts to fester inside me. This is what I deal with, maybe not weekly, but still far too often for comfort. And sometimes it's not the spectacular stuff that's the worst, but the little tragedies, like the nineteen year old girl in today with three children (the oldest of which is five) in the care of the State, and another on the way.
I try my best not to become callous, but sometimes I wish I was, that I could laugh or shrug off this stuff like Peter or Paula can. But that would mean to stop caring about people, and no matter how hard it can be sometimes, that's something I don't want to lose, because there seems so little of it around these days.
I remember the other day, saying to my auntie Leanne on the way back from the book discussion group that I didn't believe that people were inherently evil. Today we had a case which has me doubting that now.
A normal day, for a Tuesday mention court. The usual parade of drunk drivers and drug-addicted burglars, with a couple of cannabis dealers/growers thrown in for good measure. It's heading for the lunchtime adjournment, and I'm thinking of what I'm going to have for lunch and wondering if I need to do any grocery shopping while I'm at it. I pop into the office for a moment to check on the Family Law case that's been in discussion all morning, and find Paula putting the finishing touches to three intervention order files that had come in over the counter.
'Damn,' I think, 'I hope this doesn't go on too long.' But I scoop them up and head back into court.
While the final police matter is going on, I flick through the files, reading the complaints. That's the applicant's reasons for wanting an order. This is one applicant, three defendants, all members of her family. At first glance I think it's just another stupid family dispute.
Then I read further.
When she was a child, the applicant was sexually abused by both her father and her brother. Both have been charged and convicted of her sexual assault. Her mother, when told of the abuse, did nothing to stop it, and indeed put pressure on her daughter to drop the allegations. Now an adult with two sons of her own, the applicant has found that her seven year-old son has been abused by her brother, his uncle, a diagnosed paedophile, whilst visiting his grandparents. They are fully aware of their son's problems with children, and knew not to leave their grandson alone with him. They still let it happen.
I don't know what disgusts me more; the paedophile brother abusing not only his own sister, but his own nephew, or the parents/grandparents, who not only failed to protect their grandson, but practically aided and abetted his abuse. The applicant's mother in particular, putting her husband and son before the safety of her daughter and grandchild. *shudders* How can people do that to other peopole? To children? Every time I come across something like this in my job - and while I was in Crimes Compensation at Heidelberg, 75% of the cases related to child abuse - I find myself angry and confused and despairing of human beings. What hope is there for us when we can do this kind of thing to our own flesh and blood?
I love my job - I'd have to, to stay despite the lousy pay and lack of staff - but sometimes it's hard. Really hard. I have to cultivate a certain professional distance, shut off part of myself, in order to cope. Most clerks of the court are like that, sometimes we're too distanced, and make lame jokes and make cynical comments. But it's keep our sanity in the face of the worst of human behaviour.
The suicide photos of the man who placed and golfball in his mouth, and then wound duct tape around his head and so suffocated himself. The cases of child neglect so bad that infants are found with cockroaches in their nappies and welfare workers have to wear cloths over their faces because the house smells so bad. The woman who lost concentration on a winding mountain road for a split second and collided head-on with another car, killing the mother-of-two driving and paralysing her fourteen year old son for life. The fourteen year old boy who has been sexually abusing his younger brothers.
I'm sorry if this post shocks or upsets people - indeed, I'd be worried if people weren't shocked and upset. But sometimes I just need to let it out, or it starts to fester inside me. This is what I deal with, maybe not weekly, but still far too often for comfort. And sometimes it's not the spectacular stuff that's the worst, but the little tragedies, like the nineteen year old girl in today with three children (the oldest of which is five) in the care of the State, and another on the way.
I try my best not to become callous, but sometimes I wish I was, that I could laugh or shrug off this stuff like Peter or Paula can. But that would mean to stop caring about people, and no matter how hard it can be sometimes, that's something I don't want to lose, because there seems so little of it around these days.
no subject
Date: 2001-05-30 12:38 am (UTC)Yes, the mother does share some of the blame. I don't know why she let her sons go there - that part didn't come up in the application - but I can only guess that maybe she wanted to allow her children to know their grandparents. And maybe deep down she couldn't believe it would happen again. I don't know if they were allowed to stay overnight - the grandparents live about two hours' drive away from the mother - but it looks like the mother's poor judgement has played its own part in this tragedy. I only hope those poor kids get some well-needed help to get through this intact.