Writer's Block: Unfriended, Unspecified!
Jan. 27th, 2010 01:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deathpixie[Error: unknown template qotd]
To me, the term 'friending' on a blog like LJ is a misnomer. Yes, some of the people whose journals I read are friends. But there's also a lot of journals I read and have 'friended' that I've never met and likely never will. I read them because I like the way they write, or they write about things that I find interesting, or they make me laugh. It's where Dreamwidth's idea of a "reading list" works much better, because you don't have the connotations associated with the word "friend".
Yes, I have been unfriended without explanation. Did I ask why? No, not when I actually noticed I'd been unfriended. I have many more things in my life that are requiring my attention than worrying myself about why someone decided they didn't want to read my LJ ramblings any more.
Yes, I've also unfriended people without explanation. Sometimes it's because the person has stopped posting, or the reasons I started reading them in the first place have changed. Sometimes it's because for whatever reason, they're making me uncomfortable or hitting particular personal triggers, or they're exacerbating my depression. Sometimes it's because I see them acting in a particular way to someone else I find offensive and decide they're not the sort of person I want to read any more.
Sometimes it's just because I'm doing a clean up of my filters and decide to remove them.
When I unfriend, it rarely has something to do with the friendship. Or, rather, if we were actual friends to start with, it's usually a reflection of a change in the relationship that happened outside of LJ and they're already aware of it. To me, friending and unfriending - and the filters I also employ to organise who and what I read when - is just a way of controlling my particular corner of the internet. It's never personal, and as such, I don't see it as requiring an explanation.
However, should I unfriend someone and they ping me to ask why, I'll always respond. To date, that hasn't happened yet.
To me, the term 'friending' on a blog like LJ is a misnomer. Yes, some of the people whose journals I read are friends. But there's also a lot of journals I read and have 'friended' that I've never met and likely never will. I read them because I like the way they write, or they write about things that I find interesting, or they make me laugh. It's where Dreamwidth's idea of a "reading list" works much better, because you don't have the connotations associated with the word "friend".
Yes, I have been unfriended without explanation. Did I ask why? No, not when I actually noticed I'd been unfriended. I have many more things in my life that are requiring my attention than worrying myself about why someone decided they didn't want to read my LJ ramblings any more.
Yes, I've also unfriended people without explanation. Sometimes it's because the person has stopped posting, or the reasons I started reading them in the first place have changed. Sometimes it's because for whatever reason, they're making me uncomfortable or hitting particular personal triggers, or they're exacerbating my depression. Sometimes it's because I see them acting in a particular way to someone else I find offensive and decide they're not the sort of person I want to read any more.
Sometimes it's just because I'm doing a clean up of my filters and decide to remove them.
When I unfriend, it rarely has something to do with the friendship. Or, rather, if we were actual friends to start with, it's usually a reflection of a change in the relationship that happened outside of LJ and they're already aware of it. To me, friending and unfriending - and the filters I also employ to organise who and what I read when - is just a way of controlling my particular corner of the internet. It's never personal, and as such, I don't see it as requiring an explanation.
However, should I unfriend someone and they ping me to ask why, I'll always respond. To date, that hasn't happened yet.
