deathpixie | So, here I am.

Tuesday night, and I'm sitting here in the blessed coolness of a change, burning CDs for Greta and feeling mildly buzzed from two glasses of red - or was that three - over dinner. I'm feeling better, or at least, less worried. Although 'tense' seems to be my default setting most of the time, even when I'm feeling good. I've put some money towards the credit card that was due today, and I get paid my first full fortnight of full time tomorrow. And I've had a pleasant evening, full of good conversations, bad jokes and much laughing.

Greta is good for both of us.

There's a hollow of BRM's shoulder where I always used to lay my head when we hugged - even now, giving him a "friendly" hug because I feel the need for human contact, I still find that spot, and it feels so right, so good. I miss it, and at the same time I feel angry at myself for being so weak, so pathetic.

I just get so tired of being the bitch.

Agh, bloody red wine, I always get like this when I drink it. Nothing to see here.