deathpixie: (plateaus of sanity)
[personal profile] deathpixie
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I'd go back and not talk the ex into giving us another chance when he first broached the subject of breaking up, five years before it actually happened.

Would it change who I am now? Very probably. And for me, that wouldn't be such a bad thing. I would have avoided five years of self-doubt and pain and recriminations and the loss of friends that accompanied it. I would be financially stable. I most likely would have started therapy a lot earlier and possibly wouldn't be on the anti-depressants. I wouldn't be 41 years old and finally getting to a point where I'm feeling I can trust myself, reconsidering my career path and wanting to do something for myself, something I enjoy. I would have had an extra five years to get my shit together after the whole thing and I entirely possibly wouldn't be half the mess I was when it did actually end.

However, there are no time machines. No backsies. So it's better to look forward and concentrate on what I do have, instead of what I don't.

December 2022

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