Getting in before the rush.

[deathpixie]

I saw this in lisew and girlyskin's LJs this morning and decided to post it tonight when I got home, only to find it's catching on. So, before everyone is swamped:

Ask me a question. A question about myself, my life, personal, su p erficial, inappropriate, whatever and I will answer it the best I can.

Some answers I may friends lock if they affect others, but otherwise, fire away!i

Comments

[nute.livejournal.com]

Much of what you've learned in your thi*coughcough*one years, you've learned through trial and pain, but come out the stronger for it. That being said, how well do you view advice or statements made on subjects you've had experience with, made by people who haven't gone through experiences as harrowing?

~M.

[deathpixie]

Thirty-two now, Nute. *grins* You lost one. ;)

Very good question. One I've been pondering before answering.

On the one hand, I believe not everyone you know has to be learned through experience. There's a lot that _can't_ be learned through experience. And sometimes not havinng gone through something gives the person giving the advice/statement a sense of objectivity that I might not have. Sometimes it's good to have that viewpoint, especially when you're so caught up in something you can't see straight.

On the other hand, there's a certain feeling of connection, of understanding, when talking with someone who has had similar experiences. There's some things, no matter how much empathy and book-learning you have, you can't understand unless you've been through.

I'll listen to what people have to say, always. If I think they're wrong because of lack of knowledge, I might gently correct them. If I think they just can't know what it's like, I'll keep that thought to myself and take said advice with a grain of salt - it's not their fault they haven't had the experience, and there's some things I wouldn't wish on anyone. Just as there's some things I haven't experienced myself, and hope to never have to. If I need that 'been there too' kind of talk, I'll seek it out, but I won't completely ignore what others say simply on the grounds they haven't done it themselves. Like I said, sometimes an objective perspective helps.