Breakthrough

[deathpixie]

Had my counselling session today, after the work Christmas party. I confronted her about the needing structure - she promptly whipped out the checklist of cognitive distortions, the ten ways to untwist your thinking, and the thought record sheet, plus said she thought Cognitive Behaviour Therapy would be good for me. *wry* I have another session in two weeks, a handy Google spreadsheet for my thought record, and my first entry. I'm drained, exhausted and ready to be unconscious for about twelve hours, but... I feel more hopeful than I have for a long while. This is progress.

I'm not expecting this to be the cure-all - I'm going to work on my eating habits, increase the fish in my diet and eat more fresh veggies and less pasta, plus probably lay off drinking for a week or two to detox myself before Christmas/New Year, as well as the Vitamin D supplements for the seasonal blues - but it's a start and I'll see how it goes. If the counsellor thinks it's necessary after the next few visits, I'll make that appointment with the doctor about the possibility of medication and do what I'm told, but she agrees with me that it's best to try this first.

Apologies to everyone who's been weathering the worst of my negative thinking lately. I know I haven't been fair on people, and I'm working on it. [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com], thanks for the phone call - I used what set me off as my first thought record, and I think it's helped.

Now I'm going to finish my mint tea and go to bed. [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com], I'll call you tomorrow sometime, yeah?

Comments

[ferox.livejournal.com]

I'm glad, hon. You have no idea how much this made me smile.

[frito-kal.livejournal.com]

Wow. I'm so glad that it was a productive session. This is the best thing I could come home to after the first day of class.

[technophobia.livejournal.com]

Seconding what she said. I remember you saying you were struggling with her, and to hear that you had this sort of productivity makes me very happy for you.

[deathpixie]

The other part will be me telling her next session that she needs to keep the momentum up, since yeah, yay me for pushing and all, but I know what I'm like and if she drops the ball again, I'm likely to let her. I really do need someone who doesn't let me get away with shit. *wry*

It's sunny today. I think I'll go for a walk in the park or something at some point.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bounce_/]

I'm really glad to hear it.

[sevenall.livejournal.com]

I've done a round of CBT and found it really helpful. I hope it works out well for you.

[indiana-j.livejournal.com]

\o/ *hugs you a lot* I'm glad to hear it was a good session -- exactly what you needed right now. And google lists are a great way to go -- it tends to make the thoughts in the head quiet down a bit when you can put everything into nice, neat little rows.

[qbmuses.livejournal.com]

*snug* I love you.

[bittertwist.livejournal.com]

Have you tried sun therapy? You come from a place like AUSTRALIA and end up in the middle of snow land, it's bound to have some effect on your system, even after two years. Not saying it's THE problem, but might not be helping much either.

It's been proven that Canadians don't get enough "good light" in the winter and about 30-40% of people have a real problem with it. Affects moods even if you don't have a pre-existing condition. It's worse further north, obviously, where the suicide rate skyrockets in winter, but even southern Ontario has its issues.

If you can, try sitting under a sun lamp as often as possible. They're a little expensive to buy, but Ontario has them available at most mental health places and some libraries for free use. Your counsellor would probably know where or be able to find one easiest. My mum is a total sun junkie and her moods get much worse in winter - the sun lamp has helped exponentially (and going to Cuba twice a winter). I'm not a sun person in general, but I use the lamp for photo shoots and have noticed a better leap in my thinking. The ups and downs of manic depression are still there, but it's not SO severe.

Shaiyela

[deathpixie]

That's next on the list - I'm going to try and go outside during lunch hours, for example, instead of using the cafeteria, since even sun filtered through cloud is better than nothing. The lamp is on the 'want' list, but it'll have to wait until after Christmas, due to holiday brokedness. *wry* I'll check out the free use ones in the meantime too - [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] might be able to point me to specific places.

[qbmuses.livejournal.com]

This is going to sound crazy, but I have a friend who goes to a tanning bed once a month just for her SAD. They think she's odd for wearing 65 sunblock when she goes in... but it really helps her down here in Erie.

It's cheaper than a sun lamp and is an instant fix for a super-blah day. Could be a good emergency fix?

[frito-kal.livejournal.com]

Seconding that - it was recommended to me as well. Granted, that was right before I moved to SoCal, so I don't really need it now... but it was suggested as a good addition to other things. Good for PMS weeks, since the PMS tends to increase the no-sun blues and vice versa.