deathpixie | Writer's Block: I hate to bring this up ...

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You just described my relationship of twelve years.

I was constantly afraid to bring things up, not because he was violent or would verbally abuse me, but because he knew what to say to make me feel stupid or childish or selfish. Mentioning a habit of his that drove me crazy while we were living together would be met with a list of mine that made him crazy. Me objecting to something he said would be responded to with "well, I'm just trying to help you be a better person". His contempt was withering - I desperately wanted to be something in his eyes, live up to the potential he saw and I learned to hate myself when I failed.

Ten years after the relationship ended and I'm still single and going through medication and therapy for depression. I'm getting better - much better - and I'm learning that disagreement doesn't mean I'm a bad person. I'm learning my opinion matters just as much as anyone else's. Contempt still tends to shred me, but I'm working on that.

If something's important to you, say it. No matter what.