Writer's Block: Going the distance
Jul. 12th, 2011 11:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deathpixie[Error: unknown template qotd]
No, I wouldn't.
It might seem a bit weird, coming from me, considering I've moved across the globe to live in another country. But I didn't do it for someone I loved. I did it for me. I did it because I needed to make a change, because I wanted to try living in the place that had become a second home to me. I did it because I could.
Love should not be the only reason you uproot your life and move. Because love is, unfortunately, not always rock solid. Love doesn't always last. And unless you have the resources to take care of yourself in a strange place, you could wind up in a really bad way.
It's not selfish to take care of yourself, even in love. Make sure you've got something as a back up, in case something goes wrong, and be sure you're making the decision for you, not because someone else wants you to or you feel it's what you should do. If there's any doubt, talk it out with your loved one. Don't wait until you've done something irrevocable before discovering it's not what you want after all.
No, I wouldn't.
It might seem a bit weird, coming from me, considering I've moved across the globe to live in another country. But I didn't do it for someone I loved. I did it for me. I did it because I needed to make a change, because I wanted to try living in the place that had become a second home to me. I did it because I could.
Love should not be the only reason you uproot your life and move. Because love is, unfortunately, not always rock solid. Love doesn't always last. And unless you have the resources to take care of yourself in a strange place, you could wind up in a really bad way.
It's not selfish to take care of yourself, even in love. Make sure you've got something as a back up, in case something goes wrong, and be sure you're making the decision for you, not because someone else wants you to or you feel it's what you should do. If there's any doubt, talk it out with your loved one. Don't wait until you've done something irrevocable before discovering it's not what you want after all.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-12 04:16 pm (UTC)Make sure you've got something as a back up, in case something goes wrong, and be sure you're making the decision for you, not because someone else wants you to or you feel it's what you should do. If there's any doubt, talk it out with your loved one.
I'm not speaking from generalities here. I left my job, took on a transfer to another court that paid lower, and moved 300 km to a country town I swore I'd never live in again, because it was where my partner of 12 years was going to school. I was positive it was the right move.
We'd barely unpacked when he told me he just wanted to be roomies and friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend.
I was stuck there for eighteen months. I couldn't afford to move out, because my job was only part time. I couldn't get a transfer back to the city, because I'd pissed off my previous manager by taking the country transfer and I was effectively being punished for it. I was stuck living with someone who made my life miserable, because I'd decided love was all important.
Love is awesome, when you can trust it. You'd think, after 12 years with someone, you would be able to. Apparently not. So if you want to travel across the world or across the country or even to the next town to be with the person you love, make sure you have a back up plan. A return ticket, a place to go at short notice. Because you can never know what might happen and being stuck in an untenable situation is something I wouldn't wish on anyone.
(Also, while I love watching Moulin Rouge, the whole "all you need is love" thing gives me the heebies.)