"How do you go halves in a dog or a house on the beach?"

[deathpixie]

Another milestone, another sign of things resolving - today we sat down and divided our possessions.

It's strange how, when it comes down to it, it's a relatively simple thing to do. Or maybe it's a part of my whole nomadic thing that I've never had much of a grip on material possessions; I have my bike and my iBook, and my music and I'm happy. But we did the dividing (on paper) in a very civilised way - *grins* we were trying to give each other stuff rather than both making claims to it. But I'm glad it's done, because I can stop making those lists in my head, of What's Mine and What's His, and I don't have to put up with Mum telling me to make sure he doesn't rip me off.

Something I was saying to Mel yesterday - to me, this whole thing has never been about sides. Yes, he makes me angry and frustrated and sad, but I don't hate him. He's not the Bad Guy. But people keep trying to make this about sides - I guess it's how they deal with the situation themselves - and it makes it all the harder to deal with.

Of course, it's not that unusual a conclusion to come to, that he's evil, when you read previous LJ posts. Especially those around August/September. But I reserve the right to be contradictory. ;)

Another step closer to truly separating. After all this time, it feels strange to think he won't be underfoot all the time.

Comments

Not with a bang but a whimper

[msss.livejournal.com]

I know the feeling. I had my very own "getting rid of old garbage" day a couple of weeks back. Cleaned out old love letters. Jeez. I can't believe I went out with the guy for three and a half years and now he's just irrelevant to my life. Of course, that's not so bad... there's the one I slept with whose face I can't remember. *grin*

[kielle.livejournal.com]

*hug* I completely understand, gal. I guess it comes down to what you really need and what you know he needs, and to argue over THINGS at this point is silly. I'm glad it worked out peacefully. :) (Also, in my case, the less stuff I had to move out with, the better. *wink*)

[queenieb.livejournal.com]

Thinking of you, Rossi. And glad it hasn't come down to being over Things. Because, you know, it's never about things. But I guess you know that.

But yeah, it'd be easier to have someone be the Bad Guy. But, alas, life isn't easy. But I think you know that, too. :-)

Anyway. Virtual hug. And I'm thinking of you.

Ditto

[trishalynn.livejournal.com]

The dividing the posessions part was perhaps the toughest, mostly because he'd packed most of it all up for me. I didn't have a chance to really go through things, and maybe that's a good thing, because he needed to heal really quickly, and maybe him going through the things helped him... I'll never know.

One thing I know not to do next time is to ever share expense accounts. Never doing that again; still dealing with the repercussions of having a joint credit card. Not a good thing.

I guess to me, part of it may have been material stuff, but at the same time, he either needed the stuff more than I did, or I just didn't have the room for the stuff I could have gotten. Heh, at least he got the lion's share of the debts...

And you're right; there is never really a Bad Guy, especially in your situation. I'm glad you've come to this understanding.